Something tells me there’s a story here…and something tells me the modlog might tell it.

I want a disney movie where a kids bowling team is going up against the bully bowling team. And they end up breaking one of the kids arms so he can’t bowl anymore.

Thats when they bring in a golden retriever to be their 4th team member. There’s no rule against it in the rulebook…

So despite everyone telling them it’s a bad idea, and it’ll never work, they let it stand officially! The dog is on the team! They rename their team The Underdogs! And then that team gets decimated in the tournament due to dogs lacking opposable thumbs, and have no concept of what bowling even is.

Full size snickers aren’t even full size anymore. Did you know they’re 1/3rd the size they were in 1978? If they shrink anymore, they’ll be the same size that bitesize were in the 90s.

Bitesize used to be the length of your thumb, and full size used to be the length of your dick. Now bitesize is like postage stamp size. And full size are only an inch longer than my thumb. If that.

Hey…I know some of those words! Not all of them…but some!

If this is in one of the reddest counties, then that means NONE of this means anything, other than this movie did a terrible job advertising. Even to their base. Nobody knows the movie exists.

This theater seating arangement pisses me off. Why did they remove 2 seats on all the rows behind the handicap seat row? And why are there 2 seats even further to the right, but X’d off in the back row??? If anything that just shows theres enough space for 4 more seats in EVERY row behind the handicaped row! Is that just empty floor space??? Why is that there??? Like a mini dance floor in the theater???

I find your laugh interesting. It’s like a small bit of the humor hit your brain early. So you let out the innitial ha. Then the full humor hit, and it became more of a full laugh.

Kind of like when you’re holding in a fart at the thanksgiving day dinner table, and you let out a small bit of a fart, but then everyone looks at you, and the jig is up anyways, so you let out an ass ripping fart. Then grandma yells at you.

Lufe…uhhh…finds a way.

Which was actually based on the one developers wife, who was timid and scared when people were around her.

But the second people went away, she became scary and threatening.

How hard are you throwing these babies???

leaves plastic banana under your bed

You’ll find that, months from now, and you won’t know where it came from, or why it’s there.

Sprinkle powdered sugar on them. Delicious deep fried jpegs.

They’ll say Aw Topsy, at my autopsy!

Sir, you do not have a worthy username to be saying crazy things on the internet. That’s MY thing! And if anything, you gotta have drugs! Do you know what this world would come to if Danny DeVito ever ran out of cocaine??? He would get all oiled up, and we’d all have to look at his butthole, as Chyrol Crow sang dongs about irony. Because WE were the buttholes all along!

See? THAT’S how it’s done! Now go see my post about why Burger King should start advertising nuts on pornhub.

Studio audience: OOOOOOOO!!!

I’ve NEVER donated to anything besides the Cleveland APL. I STILL get regular texts from people posing as trump asking for donations. I block ghat number, but they have endless numbers. I block all that text me.

No…I generally don’t buy food because life is too expensive. Now you’re expecting me to GIVE money to people??? You’re on crack.

I know where it is!

I always read it in Dr Weird’s voice.

“Gentlemen…BEHOLD!!! I have transfered our spirits into these ordinary housecats!!!”

“Errrm…cool I guess. But why?”

“So I can touch your butthole Steve!!! And without vocal chords, HR will never be able to understand your complaints!!! Mwa ha ha ha ha!!!”

My name is…

New rule. Every politician needs a heat signature based gps monitored butt plug inside them at all times.

That way their thumbs are always free.