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Stamets@lemmy.world to tumblr@lemmy.world · 2 months ago

Unsettling Threats

lemmy.world

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Unsettling Threats

lemmy.world

Stamets@lemmy.world to tumblr@lemmy.world · 2 months ago
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44
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  • cross-posted to:
  • [email protected]
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  • Vinny_93@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    My dad used to threaten he would put our head in between two ears when we were really young.

    If you say it quickly and harshly enough, it sounds kinda menacing.

  • ElfBean@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    I will turn you into a one-man human centipede

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Is this with clones or more of an ouroboros situation?

      • ElfBean@fedia.io
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        2 months ago

        I was thinking ouroboros but either works, whatever seems worse to you

  • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I will measure the total length of all the nerves in your body

    • Da Cap’n@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      I will extracts your nerves and use your them to hang you.

    • pyre@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      that’s gonna be more painful for you

  • i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca
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    2 months ago

    Once upon a time I heard a call scream “I will shit IN you!” and it’s stuck with me ever since.

    • isolatedscotch@discuss.tchncs.de
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      2 months ago

      Dubai oligarchs want to know your position

  • Burninator05@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I will own your fingernails.

    I will rat king your left shoes.

    I will place your skull in my xylophone.

  • prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    Gonna put tacks in your cereal, in 2 years

  • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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    2 months ago

    Thankfully they explained this wasn’t an exhaustive list, I thought these were all the possible unsettling threats in the English language.

  • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    My personal favorite is “I will walk through you”

  • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I will make you look yourself in the eye without using a mirror

    • jia_tan@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      2 months ago

      So a selfie camera on a phone then?

      • edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I was trying to avoid explicitly saying “I’ll make you look yourself in the eye with your other eye” to leave a little something to the reader’s imagination. That was my fault. Congratulations, you found a loophole in my wording.

  • thefartographer@lemm.ee
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    2 months ago

    I will pay the tooth fairy to put other people’s teeth in your mouth

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      You have a gift, my friend.

  • socialmedia@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I will take away your healthcare.

    I will take away your job.

    I will take away your children.

    I’ll take away your children’s protection from preventable diseases.

    I’ll ruin your children’s education by firing most of the oversight and hiring an unqualified person to run the department of education.

    I’ll cause the things you need to buy to widely fluctuate in price due to tarrifs or the threat of tarrifs.

    I’ll undermine the government so much they can’t get rid of me or my cohorts.

    And also I’ll boil your teeth. That was a fun one too.

    • Remember_the_tooth@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      They said “unsettling,” not “unconscionable.”

    • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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      2 months ago

      Damn lefties are scary. Except for the tariffs, those aren’t scary

      • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        We get it, you’re one of three conservatives on Lemmy and you have warped ideas about leftists. 👍

        • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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          2 months ago

          I hang around them enough to get a decent idea from y’all.

          • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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            2 months ago

            Doesn’t seem like it on both fronts, but ok. 🤷‍♂️

            • Kaboom@reddthat.com
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              2 months ago

              I literally hang out on lemmy

              • Lemminary@lemmy.world
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                2 months ago

                So? Btw, your comment history says you browse on occasion at best.

  • BoxOfFeet@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’m going to gum your knuckles while you sleep.

    I will show you the meaning of vivisection.

    I’m going to take you to the basement with a potato peeler and a sack of lemons.

    I’m going to make you eat your hair.

  • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Like half these are just part of the BJJ experience

    • Count Regal Inkwell@pawb.social
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      2 months ago

      Blowjob-job?

      • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

  • didnt1able@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    “I will feed you broken teeth”

  • AoxoMoxoA@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I’ll sew your asshole shut and keep feedn ya and feedn ya - Method Man

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