John, Mike and Pete are a trio of womanisers who get hit by the same bus and sent to hell at the same time. They’re not surprised, since they weren’t the best of people, and Satan is leading them to what he feels is a fitting punishment for each of them.

John is first, being led through the acidic wastes to a small door. The door opens to reveal a dingy room, and in the centre, is an incredibly ugly woman. The skin flaps would make you want to say “she has a lovely personality”, but the sheer number of racist tattoos tell you otherwise. And with all the grease and salt on her chins, you feel like this is her own doing.

Satan declares “John, you have sinned. For all eternity, you shall be the plaything of the third ugliest woman to ever live.”

Mike is next, being led past the pits of fire to a door that gets stuck when you push it open. It opens to a smokey room and, inside, is another incredibly ugly woman. She looked like if you typed “80 year old chain smoker with five venereal diseases” into an AI generator. And the look in her eyes tells you she knows she’s not a looker, and she’s going to make it your problem.

Satan declares “Mike, you have sinned. For all eternity, you shall be the plaything of the second ugliest woman to ever live.”

Pete is next, and he overheard the previous two, so he’s not looking forward to the trip. He almost wants to remain in the plains of ice and salt, but he’s pushed forwards to a slightly crooked door and sent inside. There, he spots Taylor Swift. Not a woman who looks like Taylor Swift, but the actual Taylor Swift, looking like she came straight from the red carpet.

Pete is deeply confused by his good luck until he hears Satan’s voice boom out “Taylor, you have sinned.”