Even “success” carries with it such burdens nowadays - e.g. Professors get to initiate younger people into this hellscape of soul-crushing debt followed by the same ethical dilemma that plagued them except has only become more heightened over time?
And heaven forbid that you invent something, like a cure for a disease, either watching as it becomes restricted solely to the wealthy, or else people use it to win political games, and either harm others or like rub it on their own crotches I guess - when we all know that the only proper use is to win internet arguments on social media sites:-P.
Seriously, I am losing the faith and if someone could point me to a good resource to help restore it that would be wonderful… Though realistically thinking I do not think that things will become better in any of our lifetimes.
At which point, grouchy old man yelling at cloud.gif aside, “managing expectations” seems the only positive way to move forward, that I can think of at least:-|.
Sorry you’re going through that. I’m not a scientist, just an internet person who thought of that Denethor quote when I read your comment.
I have been very frustrated with things though and what helped me was reading some stoic philosophy, caring a lot more about the things I can control and a lot less about what I can’t. Basically managing expectations, as you put it. Oh and also therapy. Not sure if any of that will help or not but it’s helped me after living without much hope for some time.
Hope you’re able to find the motivation you need to keep doing the important work you do, stranger. Good luck to you.
Thanks for the sympathy. I apologize if you thought I meant anything at all about you - I did get myself triggered, and in greatly shortening the text it lost clarity that I was attempting to humorously refer to the community’s motto:
A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Without the word “peacock” in my reply… yeah that just got totally lost didn’t it?:-P Also, this little gem of a 10-year-old video worked its way into my language as well:-P.
You - and that Denethor quote - are totally right. We cannot manage to control the entire universe, so we should just focus on what we can do. e.g., we aren’t all going to make it, I now think, therefore I help those who I can. Like literally, what more could possibly be done?
Also, I have lost hope that the short- or medium-term situation will improve, but I can still fight back by slowing the degradation.:-) Some possibly nice words to that effect: the concept of “hope”, much like “good”, does not exist in a vacuum: we need to hold out hope FOR something specific - so it helps to try to form a mental picture for what that is.
We cannot ever move back, so all that remains is to decide how best to move forward, choosing among the options that do exist.
I left my ChemE PhD program “all but dissertation” because of my mental health and funding politics. I took my MS as a consolation prize and upon lots of self-reflection, I realized my favorite times in academia were when I was teaching as a TA.
So, I started looking for teaching jobs and eventually wound up adjuncting at a community college (which eventually led to a FT job). It can still be a little soul-crushing to think too hard about the state of the world today, but I get to spend most of my days taking about cool topics to people that are also interested, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
It might not help you in your position, but when I was feeling like you, I needed to find another job that let me remember what I liked about studying science in the first place. Maybe there’s something like that out there for you.
Can I just say how wonderful it is to have people like you who are able to work within the system?:-D Everyone is different - brain chemistries and upbringing and the like - and if you can handle it, you are doing a good work.
I had to leave the profession for another one entirely - I am now an engineer - b/c I just could not handle being part of the outright predatory practices within academia.:-( (people are literally walking away from fully tenured positions, not tenure-track mind you, I mean they already received that, in top-ranked universities even)
Regardless of what future career paths await someone, after getting whatever degree (PhD, MS, BS/BA, AA, or even just someone interested who is watching a YouTube video), knowledge of STEM imho can only benefit them, and society as a whole. e.g. the practice of skeptical thought (testing everything new against what you know to be true based on evidential thinking) can help someone even if they work at an entirely unrelated minimum wage job - e.g. don’t accept candy from strangers and then climb into their unmarked van no matter what amount of free drugs they promise you:-D (and then the political equivalent: vote for me and I will make everything “better”). So then whether your students stop at the community college level - or maybe they are adults taking classes for fun even - or go on to things like business degrees, you are playing an important role in advocating for scientific literacy in society at large, which is so crucial these days, hence I hope you feel proud, b/c you should be:-).
Thank you for the kind words! I do struggle with dealing with existing power structures within academia and especially the “for-profit” model that’s being encouraged in a lot of small community colleges as a means to stay solvent. Luckily, I work in California at a pretty isolated, rural CC that is pretty well insulated from financial pressures since CA state law (or maybe Ed Code) requires a community college in every county regardless of the population base.
As a result, our departments have a fair bit of leeway to make changes as we see fit (within reason), and the admin don’t fight us much on anything we can show increases student access or success (even anecdotally), which really helps me think we’re making some incremental progress. Our math, bio, physics, and chemistry departments are almost completely switched over to using open-access textbooks and other free resources, which seems to really help students that would otherwise not be able to afford to come back to school in a STEM field, and there’s a fair bit of movement away from the traditional academic pathways, and emphasis on improving mental health among students, so maybe there’s a chance that the next generation or two might be able to move the needle away from the current toxic grad-school culture. Although, academia will still likely have the same issue as political power (in the US) and capitalism; the people most likely to find themselves in a position of power are usually the most cutthroat and least suited to enacting benevolent change.
But although I love my STEM majors since they’re the ones that appreciate the finer points of the more advanced classes, your point about scientific literacy is exactly why I wind up putting far more effort into my intro-level chem courses. For a majority of my students, my Intro to Gen Chem course might be the last science course they ever take, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated by others in the science community
I loved school, and some of my favorite courses I took were at a local community college, after spending a metric shit ton on a private uni for years, and before spending another metric shit ton later. I don’t know why I was taught to think of CC as a “lesser” education, because my experience there was that the instructors more consistently cared about the students’ learning, the academic requirements were just as rigorous as at the university, and at 1/7th the cost per semester hour. Unfortunately non-tenured instructors got paid just as shittily at both places
I think part of it is that at CC’s, teaching is literally the most important part of the job, as opposed to at 4-years, professors are supposed to be spending the bulk of their time research and teaching a class or two on the side. As a result, at a CC, teaching is the number one qualification hiring committees look for, but universities are usually looking for who has the most potential/publications/funding as a researcher with little to no regard for their ability to teach. As a result, unis get people who care more about research and regard teaching as a distraction (IME).
And I really appreciate that you have an understanding of the plight of adjuncts and other non-tenure-track instructors. There is some movement at the CC level with several big unions actively working to advocate for adjuncts despite the fact that the adjuncts are not explicitly part of the union (generally due to explicit exclusion or an inability to afford dues), so hopefully that gets better soon!
Go now, and fail in what way seems best to you.
Even “success” carries with it such burdens nowadays - e.g. Professors get to initiate younger people into this hellscape of soul-crushing debt followed by the same ethical dilemma that plagued them except has only become more heightened over time?
And heaven forbid that you invent something, like a cure for a disease, either watching as it becomes restricted solely to the wealthy, or else people use it to win political games, and either harm others or like rub it on their own crotches I guess - when we all know that the only proper use is to win internet arguments on social media sites:-P.
Seriously, I am losing the faith and if someone could point me to a good resource to help restore it that would be wonderful… Though realistically thinking I do not think that things will become better in any of our lifetimes.
At which point, grouchy old man yelling at cloud.gif aside, “managing expectations” seems the only positive way to move forward, that I can think of at least:-|.
Sorry you’re going through that. I’m not a scientist, just an internet person who thought of that Denethor quote when I read your comment.
I have been very frustrated with things though and what helped me was reading some stoic philosophy, caring a lot more about the things I can control and a lot less about what I can’t. Basically managing expectations, as you put it. Oh and also therapy. Not sure if any of that will help or not but it’s helped me after living without much hope for some time.
Hope you’re able to find the motivation you need to keep doing the important work you do, stranger. Good luck to you.
Thanks for the sympathy. I apologize if you thought I meant anything at all about you - I did get myself triggered, and in greatly shortening the text it lost clarity that I was attempting to humorously refer to the community’s motto:
Without the word “peacock” in my reply… yeah that just got totally lost didn’t it?:-P Also, this little gem of a 10-year-old video worked its way into my language as well:-P.
You - and that Denethor quote - are totally right. We cannot manage to control the entire universe, so we should just focus on what we can do. e.g., we aren’t all going to make it, I now think, therefore I help those who I can. Like literally, what more could possibly be done?
Also, I have lost hope that the short- or medium-term situation will improve, but I can still fight back by slowing the degradation.:-) Some possibly nice words to that effect: the concept of “hope”, much like “good”, does not exist in a vacuum: we need to hold out hope FOR something specific - so it helps to try to form a mental picture for what that is.
We cannot ever move back, so all that remains is to decide how best to move forward, choosing among the options that do exist.
I left my ChemE PhD program “all but dissertation” because of my mental health and funding politics. I took my MS as a consolation prize and upon lots of self-reflection, I realized my favorite times in academia were when I was teaching as a TA.
So, I started looking for teaching jobs and eventually wound up adjuncting at a community college (which eventually led to a FT job). It can still be a little soul-crushing to think too hard about the state of the world today, but I get to spend most of my days taking about cool topics to people that are also interested, so I got that going for me, which is nice.
It might not help you in your position, but when I was feeling like you, I needed to find another job that let me remember what I liked about studying science in the first place. Maybe there’s something like that out there for you.
Can I just say how wonderful it is to have people like you who are able to work within the system?:-D Everyone is different - brain chemistries and upbringing and the like - and if you can handle it, you are doing a good work.
I had to leave the profession for another one entirely - I am now an engineer - b/c I just could not handle being part of the outright predatory practices within academia.:-( (people are literally walking away from fully tenured positions, not tenure-track mind you, I mean they already received that, in top-ranked universities even)
Regardless of what future career paths await someone, after getting whatever degree (PhD, MS, BS/BA, AA, or even just someone interested who is watching a YouTube video), knowledge of STEM imho can only benefit them, and society as a whole. e.g. the practice of skeptical thought (testing everything new against what you know to be true based on evidential thinking) can help someone even if they work at an entirely unrelated minimum wage job - e.g. don’t accept candy from strangers and then climb into their unmarked van no matter what amount of free drugs they promise you:-D (and then the political equivalent: vote for me and I will make everything “better”). So then whether your students stop at the community college level - or maybe they are adults taking classes for fun even - or go on to things like business degrees, you are playing an important role in advocating for scientific literacy in society at large, which is so crucial these days, hence I hope you feel proud, b/c you should be:-).
Thank you for the kind words! I do struggle with dealing with existing power structures within academia and especially the “for-profit” model that’s being encouraged in a lot of small community colleges as a means to stay solvent. Luckily, I work in California at a pretty isolated, rural CC that is pretty well insulated from financial pressures since CA state law (or maybe Ed Code) requires a community college in every county regardless of the population base.
As a result, our departments have a fair bit of leeway to make changes as we see fit (within reason), and the admin don’t fight us much on anything we can show increases student access or success (even anecdotally), which really helps me think we’re making some incremental progress. Our math, bio, physics, and chemistry departments are almost completely switched over to using open-access textbooks and other free resources, which seems to really help students that would otherwise not be able to afford to come back to school in a STEM field, and there’s a fair bit of movement away from the traditional academic pathways, and emphasis on improving mental health among students, so maybe there’s a chance that the next generation or two might be able to move the needle away from the current toxic grad-school culture. Although, academia will still likely have the same issue as political power (in the US) and capitalism; the people most likely to find themselves in a position of power are usually the most cutthroat and least suited to enacting benevolent change.
But although I love my STEM majors since they’re the ones that appreciate the finer points of the more advanced classes, your point about scientific literacy is exactly why I wind up putting far more effort into my intro-level chem courses. For a majority of my students, my Intro to Gen Chem course might be the last science course they ever take, and it’s a responsibility I don’t take lightly. It’s nice to know it’s appreciated by others in the science community
I loved school, and some of my favorite courses I took were at a local community college, after spending a metric shit ton on a private uni for years, and before spending another metric shit ton later. I don’t know why I was taught to think of CC as a “lesser” education, because my experience there was that the instructors more consistently cared about the students’ learning, the academic requirements were just as rigorous as at the university, and at 1/7th the cost per semester hour. Unfortunately non-tenured instructors got paid just as shittily at both places
I think part of it is that at CC’s, teaching is literally the most important part of the job, as opposed to at 4-years, professors are supposed to be spending the bulk of their time research and teaching a class or two on the side. As a result, at a CC, teaching is the number one qualification hiring committees look for, but universities are usually looking for who has the most potential/publications/funding as a researcher with little to no regard for their ability to teach. As a result, unis get people who care more about research and regard teaching as a distraction (IME).
And I really appreciate that you have an understanding of the plight of adjuncts and other non-tenure-track instructors. There is some movement at the CC level with several big unions actively working to advocate for adjuncts despite the fact that the adjuncts are not explicitly part of the union (generally due to explicit exclusion or an inability to afford dues), so hopefully that gets better soon!