A tale of a man on the Internet who caught a cold

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Damn, the fever is down and the cough is easing up, but my nose feels like it’s lined with sandpaper. What to do? Look it up!

Duck Duck Go: dry sinuses

Results:

• (Amazon) Dry Nasal Passage – Deals on Dry Nasal Passage [ad]
• (Thrive Market) Banyan Sinus Nasal Drops – Organic Sinus Remedy [ad]
• (Healthline) Dry Sinuses: Inside Nose, Throat, Symptoms, Headache, and More…
• (Medical News Today) Dry sinuses: Remedies, causes, and how to treat them – Medical…
• (Healthline) 5 Effective Ways to Treat a Dry Nose

Alright, I’ll take the bottom Healthline link, the one that doesn’t look like it had a stroke.

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They’re the same fucking site. Alright, maybe this is another of those cases where DDG is easy to SEO game.

Duck Duck Go: dry sinuses !g

I’ll just fucking ignore the AI answer before it tells me to eat glue. Oh, the results are the fucking same, but there’s a Mayo Clinic in there. I know from experience that one has also cucked itself from the EU. Fine, I’ll throw the Healthline link to archive.is

To verify you’re not a robot, please click on tiny pixelated images of fire hydrants for five minutes while an actual robot pretends to know better than you what fire hydrants look like. Doesn’t this make you so confident about self-driving cars?

One eternity of downloading later:

How to treat dry sinuses

Dry sinuses occur when the mucous membranes in your sinuses lack proper moisture. This can lead to dry nasal passages, discomfort, nosebleeds, and similar unpleasant symptoms. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Curabitur sagittis eros vitae elit vehicula congue. Curabitur pellentesque risus sit amet ipsum vehicula, nec elementum sem iaculis. Mauris fermentum egestas est non tempus. Aenean urna diam, bibendum ac aliquet id, vulputate ut nunc. Ut luctus leo eu lacus consequat vulputate. In consequat augue at cursus tempor. Aenean tristique felis id fermentum tristique. Maecenas fermentum nunc vitae purus efficitur, id malesuada dui elementum. Etiam lobortis viverra turpis eu eleifend. Integer ac efficitur lacus. Nullam rutrum nisl lacus, bibendum maximus turpis vehicula eu. In at turpis lacus. Etiam libero tellus, imperdiet a fringilla non, tincidunt id ligula. Ut sodales convallis mauris sed semper. Nunc laoreet eros eget nulla mollis consectetur.

What are the symptoms of dry sinuses?

Aliquam sem tellus, interdum non mattis eget, imperdiet nec odio. Duis est mauris, posuere at risus vel, eleifend iaculis tortor. Vivamus in nisi sit amet sapien vestibulum ultricies eu eu ante. Integer eleifend augue mollis, vehicula orci et, condimentum orci. In et ultricies ligula. Praesent vitae lacus neque. Aliquam venenatis aliquam nulla ut dapibus. Integer a ligula a tortor consequat interdum in quis mi. Nam hendrerit mauris vel augue mollis ullamcorper ac ut justo. Curabitur aliquet eros ipsum, sit amet tempus ipsum tincidunt ac.

What causes dry sinuses?

Ut elementum elementum sapien, et interdum dolor commodo eu. Integer euismod rutrum augue in consectetur. Cras vel ultrices odio, nec congue massa. Proin et congue erat, et feugiat magna. Curabitur blandit vitae ligula sed sollicitudin. Nunc et suscipit quam. Morbi convallis, nisl vel tincidunt tempus, nisi dolor porta tellus, quis rhoncus urna enim vel libero. In iaculis ut elit sed interdum. Aliquam et felis at ante sodales pellentesque non vel diam. Donec consectetur eget metus aliquet gravida. Ut diam ipsum, ornare ac ullamcorper ac, tempus ut tortor. Maecenas dapibus auctor laoreet. Donec varius congue velit, id gravida ex ultricies vitae. Donec scelerisque condimentum erat. Donec auctor lacus sed risus vehicula placerat.

How are dry sinuses treated?

There are many ways you can treat dry sinuses at home to alleviate discomfort caused by seasonal allergies, irritation from chemicals, or drying from medications or dry air. To get relief, you can:

• place a humidifier in your bedroom at night to keep the air from getting too dry
• stop taking drying medications, such as antihistamines (or ask your doctor or pharmacist to help you choose something with fewer side effects)
• drink plenty of water to stay hydrated get some fresh air if the air in your house is stale or stagnant
• remove as many allergens and irritants from your environment as possible
• irrigate your sinuses with sterile saline using a neti pot or similar product
• use nasal spray to hydrate and lubricate your nasal passages and sinuses
• take a hot shower and inhale the steam
• diffuse essential oils like lavender, peppermint, or lemon for allergies

In some cases, your doctor might need to recommend treatment for your dry sinuses. Make an appointment with your doctor if you:

• have an autoimmune disorder like Sjögren syndrome
• praesent eget ipsum bibendum turpis blandit vulputate hendrerit quis lorem. Sed aliquam feugiat bibendum. Pellentesque ornare erat id quam fermentum congue. Proin vitae pretium urna. Nunc tincidunt, lectus id fermentum aliquam, felis justo molestie est, quis viverra erat mauris at nulla. Fusce viverra justo dapibus, venenatis metus at, hendrerit dui. Interdum et malesuada fames ac ante ipsum primis in faucibus. Class aptent taciti sociosqu ad litora torquent per conubia nostra, per inceptos himenaeos. Fusce eget neque luctus, euismod elit at, finibus erat. Vestibulum semper nunc a enim sagittis tristique. Praesent vestibulum tincidunt ex, eget luctus tortor iaculis et. Maecenas sit amet purus non orci dapibus pellentesque nec vitae lectus.

Alright, take it easy with antihistamines and dig out that nasal spray. Thanks, internet. This definitely needed all these steps to solve.

Edit: archive link to the actual article in case it’ll save someone else a couple of minutes