Am I the asshole for being insistant about “wanting to murder the entire Romanov family”?

Around 4 months ago I was invited to see the school musical “Anastasia” by some theater kids that were friends of mine. I already knew the framing and content of the play is utter reactionary nonsense, but I decided to actually go yesterday night to watch to support my buddies.

The musical itself had good production quality, and there were some great unintentionally funny moments in there, too. I was dissapointed that the one communist didn’t brutally blow Anastasia’s brains out, but I definitely think the play gave me some resolve and inspires violence in me.

Anyway here is the main part, lol. It isnt the most precise retelling of events, but generally what went down, spare the details. After the play I was chatting with a bunch of the cast, and apparently one of them heard that I would have shot the Romanov family, if I was in the position to, (which they heard from a seperate friend that is actually socialist. ) I didn’t deny it, and I actually fully leaned into it. “The Romanovs had no qualms on the treatment of their people. There would be no room for abdication, no humbleness to step down, obly death, ETC…” One giggled, another person gasped, “Do you feel no sympathy for them?” My friend (who played Tzar Nicholas) asked me something like:"Would you shoot the Romanov’s even if it was me?! " “No sympathy. And yes, I would shoot regardless of personal connections” and I quickly left into the crowd. Since then, my friend has been avoiding me? idk he seems not happy with me. Am I the asshole here?

Either way, I would rather be perceived as an asshole than be a liberal in content.

  • amemorablename@lemmygrad.ml
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    5 months ago

    It’s sort of beside the point, I think? Because litigating the morality of an argument over hypotheticals is a red herring to begin with. The real point is about the conditions those people were living under, the power dynamics in play, and the response necessary to secure liberation. What they did is try to put you firmly within a framework of idealism, which is about doing the “right thing” (as abstract moral principle) even if the circumstances surrounding it would tempt you to do otherwise. So in their minds, you affirmed that you are hypothetically morally bankrupt and would not do the abstract moral principle “right thing.” Naturally, that’s going to make them uncomfortable around you because idealism is all about what people are capable of and whether they are willing to strive to overcome their “base urges.”

    The question is, do you want to be friends with them? If so, you’ll probably need to go out of your way to be more diplomatic about this stuff. If this were a question of organizing, I’d say, don’t bother. Friendship and making sure you stay safe, that people aren’t viewing you as some kind of loose cannon when you aren’t, can be a little different.

    We shouldn’t have to go above and beyond to deal with people like this, and let’s be real: sometimes we’re not going to. The idealist position would say we should always strive to, no matter what. Well, sometimes it’s just not going to happen. BUT, that doesn’t mean you have to leave these situations to impulse either. What you can do is try to learn from it by reflecting on what about it didn’t work, how you would like to present yourself and your views going forward, what outcome it is that you’re even wanting. For example, are you wanting to vent? to persuade? To be the opposition when everyone is affirming the norm? Keep in mind the last one can be very difficult to do alone and it’s easy to slip into defense mechanisms instead of keeping a clear head, especially when people are throwing nonsensical hypothetical gotchas at you or citing some of the same talking points you’ve heard a thousand times.

  • Well, you did basically tell your friend who just literally pretended to be Tzar Nicholas that you’d be willing to shoot them, right to their face. Haha

    I would have just said something like, “I wouldn’t be friends with you in the first place if that was the kind of person you were, so the question is irrelevant.”

    You could’ve been kinder to your friend, who is now either offended or scared of you (but that’s kinda funny, to be honest).

    But are you the asshole for insisting to kill the Romanovs? NTA!

    • Stalin_was_Ballin [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      5 months ago

      “Thanks for not telling people you would’ve gone on a murder spree against the Romanov family during our time at the musical, honey. I know that took restraint.”

      speech-r took-restraint

      Yeah, lol. OP could’ve just picked another time to go off. Real life isn’t hexbear. (unfortunately) I can’t go around saying Stalin did nothing wrong in public place filled with (what I assume are) mostly liberal people.

      • MarxMadness@lemmygrad.ml
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        5 months ago

        This is why the “look, this is just a shitposting forum!” defense of maximally hot takes has always rung hollow to me. Everyone spends a ton of time online these days, and if you say something all day every day online long enough, eventually at least a sliver of it is going to come out in real life. Maybe it’s in a conversation like this, maybe it’s after a beer or two.

    • Marxist_Femboy@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      5 months ago

      I think my friend is more offended/annoyed at me. I probably should have rejected the question, or explained myself better. But we’re beyond that now, lol 😅

  • comrade-bear@lemmygrad.ml
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    5 months ago

    I think it’s not a good look to say you’ll shoot a classmate, even in hypothetical, I think it was better dismissing the hypothetical as nonsense, which it is, answering it with the question, would you condemn your population to violence and hunger? Otherwise yeah it’s not wrong to have that stance just think you could go about it a little more gracefully, cause one problem is that when we are THE communist some people know they’ll judge communism based on US and the optics of how you went about it might lead them to believe communists are more trigger happy then they are.

  • DinosaurThussy [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    You had an opportunity to make people reconsider the glorification of monarchs. Instead you allowed the conversation to move from being a hypothetical about historical figures to being a concrete situation about your immediate friends. And then you doubled down on murdering one of those friends, whose connection was that he was playing a character in a play. It’s not your fault that you got such a loaded question, but the only appropriate response was to deconstruct that question. I think you could’ve steered that conversation differently.

    If it’s a surprise that your friend is avoiding you, then I think you’ve had a lapse of empathy while gaining precisely zero ground in people understanding your position better. Whether your care about him avoiding you is your prerogative. But it shouldn’t be a surprise.

  • AssortedBiscuits [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    Insisting that Alexei should be killed is cringe since he was already dying and wouldn’t have made it past the harsh Russia winter anyways. And he wasn’t so important that his death had to be bumped up several months. The dude would’ve just died from bumping his head too hard or stubbing his toe.

    As for the rest, meh. Most overthrows of a feudal dynasty are violent and even if we pretend the Bolsheviks were just supporters of a new feudal dynasty, they didn’t treat the Romanovs any different from how a victorious feudal dynasty treated a defeated feudal dynasty. The Romanovs, as a feudal imperial family, understood this. The founder of the Romanov dynasty basically ordered a three-year old pretender to be hung among other things. And now that the shoe’s on the other foot, they want to be treated like citizens of a liberal democracy. Nicholas could’ve done the actual feudal way of abdicating by gouging his eyes out and joining a monastery where he could spend the rest of his days as a blind monk like so many feudal pretenders to the throne, but he didn’t do that, so he simply paid the price of a feudal sovereign who refused to abdicate for real.

  • bubbalu [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    5 months ago

    The form of your opinion makes sense, but your delivery was brusque, immature and alienating. Propaganda is a skill, and I hope you can learn some good lessons from here. In general, you are going to seem nuts rigidly and dogmatically relitigating historical events. It’s better to deflect around these sort of questions and talk concretely about contextually relevant issues.

    If you lead off the bat with the most extreme and least relevant example, you will probably foreclose the opportunity to build the prior beliefs necessary to support this less relevant position.

  • comradecalzone@lemmygrad.ml
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    5 months ago

    I was dissapointed that the one communist didn’t brutally blow Anastasia’s brains out, but I definitely think the play … inspires violence in me.

    I don’t think this is a good thing. It is true that violence becomes regrettably necessary in resistance and revolution, but it should not be something we take pleasure in, for a myriad of reasons. It leads to adventurism, it hinders our ability to grow our movement, and it puts our culture in a bad spot post-revolution towards successfully building towards communism.

    And on a personal level, no, you should never, ever tell your friend that you would kill them under some hypothetical scenario. You should never let the conversation get to the point where that’s even a question being asked.