Yeah, but he’s got like three parts, one of which lost the keys, one of which had to die to find the keys for a gate that shouldn’t have been locked in the first place, and the holy Ghost (I don’t remember what that one does. Booo?)
And that’s before you step back and wonder why an all-powerful, all-knowing, and (supposedly) all-loving god would create such a stupidly convoluted requirement to “save” the humanity that he created and put in the position in the first place.
Straight up nonsense. So many plot holes, it’s not even a good story.
If you want my head cannon were a simulation God is a programmer and we’re just his buggy code.
God had to step into the simulation to figure out why it was fucked.
After experiencing the code that is humanity he realized it was a code error he made then forgives humanity for all of the rules we broke that he had made that were unfeasible.
And it would make sense that an engineer would be really bad at writing a creative story without plot holes… This is why we need more well-rounded educations for STEM majors!
Respectfully, that’s a load of bullshit and not how that works.
I would strongly advise you to read. Matthew 19 to Matthew 22. Organized religion tends to have this thing where they add bullshit rules constantly to the the actual story.
The direct quotes from Jesus himself, especially in Matthew 21. Paint a very different picture than organized religion would tell you.
In short it doesn’t matter if you live a overly pious and spiritual life and constantly put on that image, in fact it’s worthless. What matters is the acts and deeds you do. How you treat others.
NIV
Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
“Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, " ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony,
honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ "
“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Dude come on. He went to hell, freed some sinners, forgave everyone’s original sin… It was a busy weekend.
Yeah, but he’s got like three parts, one of which lost the keys, one of which had to die to find the keys for a gate that shouldn’t have been locked in the first place, and the holy Ghost (I don’t remember what that one does. Booo?)
And that’s before you step back and wonder why an all-powerful, all-knowing, and (supposedly) all-loving god would create such a stupidly convoluted requirement to “save” the humanity that he created and put in the position in the first place.
Straight up nonsense. So many plot holes, it’s not even a good story.
If you want my head cannon were a simulation God is a programmer and we’re just his buggy code.
God had to step into the simulation to figure out why it was fucked.
After experiencing the code that is humanity he realized it was a code error he made then forgives humanity for all of the rules we broke that he had made that were unfeasible.
And it would make sense that an engineer would be really bad at writing a creative story without plot holes… This is why we need more well-rounded educations for STEM majors!
There’s not even time travel or multiverse Jesus!
Mysterious ways, my friend, mysterious ways.
That’s right. Jesus went to Hell and suffered for our sins.
Which is why we all have to do our part and commit sins. Otherwise, Jesus will have suffered for nothing. 😢
No problem on that front. Just being alive is a sin unless we get babtized by the church, or so it says.
Respectfully, that’s a load of bullshit and not how that works.
I would strongly advise you to read. Matthew 19 to Matthew 22. Organized religion tends to have this thing where they add bullshit rules constantly to the the actual story.
https://www.bibleref.com/Matthew/19/Matthew-19-1.html
The direct quotes from Jesus himself, especially in Matthew 21. Paint a very different picture than organized religion would tell you.
In short it doesn’t matter if you live a overly pious and spiritual life and constantly put on that image, in fact it’s worthless. What matters is the acts and deeds you do. How you treat others.
NIV Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, “Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?”
“Why do you ask me about what is good?” Jesus replied. “There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments.”
“Which ones?” he inquired. Jesus replied, " ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony,
honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ "
“All these I have kept,” the young man said. “What do I still lack?”
Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”
When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven.
Yeah, all of this was necessary too because… His dad set it up that way?
He is his own dad, because he did do the nasty in the pasty.
His dad was strict and vengeful. But Jesus only wanted to chill with his homies.
Wait, he went to hell? So canonically Jesus is a bad person? Which means the god is too? Yooo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harrowing_of_Hell
I see, it’s Christian fan fiction. Good for them!
The whole bible’s fan fic, but I think this one also counts as canon
I heard there was a lot of heated disagreement in the fandom over the years about what counts as canon. Just like Star Wars fr
The bible is basically a combination of Star Wars (sand) & Game of Thrones (long family lines & rape)