• klu9@lemmy.ca
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    3 days ago

    But obviously that will be rescinded at some point because:

    [on the two fighters tracking Red Dwarf]

    • Holly: They’re from Earth.
    • Lister: That’s 3 million years away.
    • Holly: They’re from the Norweb Federation.
    • Lister: What’s that?
    • Holly: The North Western Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.
    • Lister: Me? Why? What for?
    • Holly: For your crimes against humanity.
    • Lister: You what?
    • Holly: It seems when you left Earth, 3 million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen. Do you know what happens to sausages left unattended for 3 million years?
    • Lister: Yeah, they go mouldy.
    • Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eights of the Earth’s surface. Also, you left £17.50 in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest, you now own 98% of all the world’s wealth. And because you’ve hoarded it for 3 million years, nobody’s got any money except for you and Norweb.
    • Lister: Why Norweb?
    • Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I’ve got a final demand here for £180 billion.