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- cross-posted to:
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Billionaire Elon Musk, found dead in his home last night, says it is not the role of social media networks to determine what is true or not.
The Tesla and X owner, who is believed to have died from a heroin overdose while watching animal porn, said he would fight any attempts to stop the spread of misinformation on his platform.
Police revealed that Musk, who says it is up to the public to decide what was true or not, had been fighting incest charges at the time of his death.
His funeral is next week.
I imagine death came fairly quickly and without a lot of suffering.
That’s a shame.
Oh no! How will the planet survive? How will we get to our miserable existence on Mars after we fuck up the atmosphere with thousands of rocket launches?
I am pretty sure he’s 62
You mean he’s been dead for a decade now?! Makes total sense. When’s the last time anyone actually saw him in public? /s
At the super bowl, Rupert Murdoch was weekend at bernieing his ass around
Gone but not forgotted.
Had me in the first half
Shit I saw this a day or three ago and it still got me lol.
He’s only 52?
He looks like someone 15 years older whose had too much plastic surgery
52 is the average age of his body parts.
That’s the look he’s going for
He’s actually 74, I read it on the Xitter so it must be true.
It’s the drugs.
Drugs don’t make people looks like low quality wax models…
It’s the plastic surgery
Looks like he paid the surgeon with Tesla shares.
Drugs make you look older, which is why he had so much plastic surgery that makes him look like a ghoul.
Can confirm, look 10 years older than I am due to past drug use and other health problems (some of which are related to the drug use, some of which the drug use is a symptom of)
Probably the spiciest instance of fighting fire with fire I’ve ever seen
I remember seeing one about zuck a few years back. Apparently the chaser said mark zuck was a child molester though the actual web page has since been taken down.
Pretty sure we can all conjecture he’s a pedophile now.
You don’t get incest charges for no reason whatsoever
Is incest an actual crime?
In some places.
I’ve heard he has so many kids because he likes his own supply and he travels around because he likes the thrill of flouting laws openly with his billionaire immunity.
I’ve also heard rumors about there being a good reason why you only see him from the chest up in interviewsEw! Sex with children is a crime across the entire country. That’s a whole different type of incest that involves heavy abuse. I mean it’s all gross to me, but if someone wants to do stuff with their siblings that’s gross to me, but whatever. If someone wants to do stuff to their child, they should be flogged and then imprisoned for life.
Why is he only shown from the chest up? I don’t get the implication.
Fellatio.
Oftentimes from the caterer. I don’t know why. Might want to fact check that one
I’ve assumed elon was a pedo ever since he accused that one diver of being one.
Every accusation is an admission.
Many people are saying it. More and more.
Say it with tuckers diarrhea face but pose it as a question.
“They don’t want you to question about Musk and his “entertainment”. However, we’re asking because many people are saying it. Is Musk a pedophile? Some people think so and those people need to be listened too. The government doesn’t want these people speaking out. Why is that? Why won’t the government let this people speak?”
That is too accurate it’s uncanny. Thanks I hate it.
Mr. Musk, what do you have to say to all the people out there who believe you’re a pedophile?
You fuck. Don’t scare me with a good time.
Fastest I’ve ever lost a boner.
I know! I actually squeaked with delight, then felt crushing disappointment, all from one title.
Aw c’mon don’t tease us like that!
Well I, as a member of the public, choose to believe him being dead as true, as he wished in life.
*sheds a single tear*
He died doing what he loved. Hoarding a measure of wealth that the human brain isn’t capable of comprehending, while the rest of us are left budgeting for god damned eggs.
Nice article. Right on point.
Honestly, apart from the incest bit, I really wish this was true…
The incest bit is close, though it was father and an adopted daughter.
That’s not incest, that’s child molestation, statutory rape, and possibly actual rape.
It’s possible it may just be creepy and possibly grooming, as they are both adults now, but I’m not sure I’d trust him to not also be what you said.
Fuck you, OP 😂
Damn, if only it were real ;-;
I’d believe that he could find a way to keep being an annoying prick even after his death. Though Elon-bot would probably be less socially awkward.
He probably has a decade worth of Twitter posts queued up and ready to go.