I don’t think most Europeans would think their royals are classy at all. Even if we stripped them of their power now they’d just be rich people living in large houses their family could already afford anyway. They’re basically government pawns we keep around for tradition and to make deals with vain foreign leaders. China does something similar, but they used pandas. If you’re a good little friend of the totalitarians, you get to have a panda in your zoo.

You think the leaders of shit holes are going to be interested in presidents? Nah, they meet presidents every day. If you want to placate them, you take our the big guns. You go “Who’s a big boy president? That’s right, it’s you! You can have a sleepover in a real palace just like in the Disney movies! Everyone thinks you’re such an important big boy!” These leaders aren’t rational-thinking, they’re coming from (sub)cultures where displays of wealth and status mean something, and I bet nothing makes a vain guy happier than to say they made a king entertain them. They feel like they’re such big shits pushing around our stage puppets.

You’d think those foreign leaders would feel belittled but sending royalty to shitholes works great, politically. The national news broadcaster has this trick where they’re officially “royal Dutch news” (because of weird laws, you don’t need to be related to royalty in any way to be granted that title as a company) and yelling “royal Dutch news” instead of “Dutch news” when trying to ask questions actually works. Even in countries with presidents. It’s extremely stupid but it’s been proven to work.

I don’t think the royals are anything special but I also don’t think the political circus around electing a president and the endless drama that follows will be any cheaper (or better, for that matter). With the way things are going in this country, I’ll take King Wimlex over President Wilders, thank you very much.