So, my spouse and I have been separated for about 7 years. Before that we separated in summer of 2013, and again in 2015. We live apart, obviously, and date other people. It’s really difficult for strangers to accept. For example, when I’m seen out in public with a male friend, people try to call me a cheater. No, I’m not. My spouse and I are separated. He told me in 2015 that he wished he could have a mail order wife from Eastern Europe, or Russia. I get it. I’m not what he wants. I actually prefer being alone, but sometimes I enjoy spending time with someone else. I just wish society understood before launching an attack on my life. It is what it is. C’est la vie.

    • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      0·
      6 months ago

      I know I can if we finished the divorce process. I think if I want to change it back, I have to pay more money.

        • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
          0·
          6 months ago

          He kept refusing to attend the last judgement for it. The judge threw out the case both times. He would then contact me and ask to get back together, saying he wanted to work things out. We would get back together and then he would later announce he wanted to separate, again. Each time I filed for divorce, it would cost about $465 in paperwork. We even met with an arbitrator to divide our assets. He was willing to be there for that. He would always skip the final meeting with the judge, though.

          • ArbiterXero@lemmy.worldEnglish
            0·
            6 months ago

            Eventually you can get the divorce in his absence I think?

            Or failing that, get him punished for failure to attend

            • ParabolicMotion@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
              0·
              6 months ago

              I have to look into that. After our last separation, he didn’t want to contribute anything to the children. I was financially struggling, with a house payment and bills to pay on one income. I eventually left my job to join the military; hoping for a better job, and a chance to start over with my kids. It put a lot of stress on my parents, who originally offered to help me. Recruiters denied me over a past surgery, because I still have a metal clip inside of my body. My parents became enraged and basically cut contact with me for a while. Since I was left with hourly job positions after that, and huge amounts of debt to pay, I filed a report for spousal abandonment. I don’t know if they ever found him. The last time I contacted him, he was letting his friends use his identity. They were using his car, his wallet, and even his email to reply to my messages. One of them sent me a selfie so I would know that it wasn’t my husband.

              • DigitalDruid@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
                0·
                6 months ago

                that all sounds incredibly stressful

                cheers to you for doing your best for you and your kids despite the adversity