Well, today I had a panic attack (at least I think?), after imagining my ex-partner suddenly visiting me, but else it’s just the feeling of nothingness as the days fly by.

But, are those small periods of “good feelings” getting at least a bit longer?

I’m not depressed, but that’s so relatable. My day has been pretty good, and I was having a pretty nice and chill evening when all of a sudden I just burst out crying. That kind of put a dampener on things. Sure I have days where I’m a bit down, or where I have this looming sense of dread, but I don’t think I’ve ever spontaneously started crying before.

my brain defaults to worry/fear/anxiety

between being bipolar and having ptsd from childhood abuse from having adhd… I have scrambled eggs for brains

I do manage to find happiness, I have an amazing partner and a really good trauma therapist who has helped me get over the worst of things and be able to mostly function.

I rarely get more than one or two good days in a row though, and I can’t recall the last time i want medicated somehow 🤷‍♂️

In the end i try to just stay as present as i can and trust that it’ll be okay for me because it has so far.

As long as you aren’t destroying your body or hurting others it doesn’t matter why you are happy. Pills or not just do/use what makes you happy.