I’ve never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I’ve never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don’t.

The problem I’m having is that I don’t exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there’s nothing there and apparently that’s considered abnormal these days. I think it’s starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I’d rather not get into.

I’d just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

  • FoundTheVegan@kbin.social
    0·
    7 months ago

    As a woman who was single and dating, saying you don’t have a social media is a red flag. Best case scenario, you truly don’t and it’s probably from having some sort of arrogant judgement value about people who do, worst case, you have a spouce you are hiding from me.

    Either way, not worth the risk. Like all the women I know feel the same. Sure it’s a historically newer redflag that didn’t exist 10-50 years ago, but neither was worrying about crypto gambling and manospehre BS. Modern problems require modern precautions.

    • krellor@kbin.social
      0·
      7 months ago

      I love that your post gave a probabilistic binning of someone who doesn’t have a traditional social media account, which was unironically confirmed by people replying with rustled jimmies.

      Come on folks, it should be clear from context that she is saying that a single woman setting up dates is going to use what limited info they have to avoid stalkers, cheaters, red pillers, and anti social people. That this might filter out perfectly normal people along with the creeps is the cost of maintaining safety and not wasting time, which is pretty much par for the course in dating. There’s also a difference between exchanging info after a brief meeting, and actually knowing a person for an extended time and then dating. I doubt OP is saying that someone they studied with for three semesters would be excluded for lack of social media, because they have real life context and don’t need the proxy filters.

      Also, getting real close in these replies to “but I’m a nice guy” and “I’m not like other girls.”

    • Aniki 🌱🌿@lemm.eeEnglish
      01·
      7 months ago

      If you told me on a date that no social media is a red flag I would just interpret that the opposite way entirely.

      I find social media addiction a full-on, hard-stop, red flag, deal-breaker.

  • cosmicrookie@lemmy.world
    01·
    7 months ago

    Don’t do it. I have stopped using Facebook and Instagram since November when they give me the choice to either pay a crazy amount or accept targeted ads.

    The amount of time that I suddenly have is crazy. I have already read 7 books and Its been 20 years since I last had read a book!

    Not to mention all the negativity and toxicity that I no longer get exposed to.

    Its people own fault of they judge you by your being online of social media or not. That said, I don’t think you’d be any better if they did value you on what you do online.

    Maybe you can create a website with your basic information a few pictures and a short descriptive text. It’s kind of a business card style website that will show up when people search your name on Google