Man, divorced women sure do have it rough
☕
Ok just my opinion, so clearly there might be some flack from the community, but I am glad she writes articles like this. It seems to be her form of outlet to process her emotions, decisions and their consequences. I think that is what these articles are an account from a person who knows they are flawed, knows they do not make the right decisions but are making decisions that are against common sense and she is documenting it as she goes. It is fascinating and past the schadenfreude that her consequences have given, the handful of articles I have quickly glanced she seems to be brutality honest discussion about her decisions and her struggles with the consequences.
reading the cheating article, it’s pretty clear these guys were gonna divorce anyway.
It’s a mistake not to separate and tell your kids before meeting someone else, but from reading what happened it looks like their marriage deteriorated to the point of completely ignoring each others existence, she finds happiness in someone who actually likes her being around, gives her the push to finalize the divorce.
Understandable perhaps but not exactly the right thing to do.
The way the meme is edited it makes it look like the husband found out and kicked her out and she deserves to be poor, reading the articles it looks like the classic case of “Mother drops everything for family, Father has to be forced to continue child support after divorce and does everything he can to avoid it.”
Which, honestly, I support. Everyone knows that’s part of marriage now, if you can’t abide by the terms of the contract, don’t enter into the legally binding partnership.
Did she write the “I cheated on my husband” article while still married to him? That’s amazing
Holy shit, her entire catalog is a dumpster fire of insecurity.
I mean, she posts to a blog called “vain asylum,” so she’s at least self aware.
Is this maybe just creative writing?
I mean the author is on medium to get followers and make money. No one wants to read a blog about how uninteresting someone’s life is.
It has to be, and many of the articles use stock photos and generic writing. Maybe just like rage bait?
You love to see it.
It looks really cut-and-dried without context, doesn’t it?
This would be better if the red circle didn’t cover the article dates.
It needs more red circles /j
August 14th, 2020
December 1st, 2022
February 26th, 2023
There’s also "I Divorced My Husband Because I Couldn’t Trust Him With My Money"From december 2022
a librarian, i see
Doing the Lord’s work.
Lazy NZ singer.
Just for some pretext here: I’m not trying to defend this woman because I know nothing about her.
That being said and just for everyone’s information, there is a scenario in which what she said is logical and fair.
It used to be that women were not allowed to have careers and some people still choose to practice that. So the women agree when entering into the marriage that they’ll be homemakers and the husband will earn money and take care of her. If the husband doesn’t keep up his end of the duties in that arrangement and they wind up being divorced then she now has no means to provide for herself. This is why alimony was initially created, so that women who were forced (or in the modern day chose) to be homemakers weren’t absolutely fucked in the case of divorce.
Again, I’m not saying that’s what’s happening here, I have no idea, but I just wanted to provide some potential context because I find a lot of talk about alimony and divorce online often just dumps on women as being greedy and that’s just not fair in every situation.
I gotta say though, it sure looks that way in this situation, especially with her talking about cheating on her husband, but again, who knows, maybe he’s not holding up his end, maybe he’s physically or emotionally abusive, we just don’t know.
Alimony is off the table when infidelity can be proved in court. This was the case even when alimony was super common back in the 80s and 90s.
If you were a homemaker seeking divorce you could get alimony without being a perfect person, but infidelity was one of the few instant "no"s in divorce court.
That is entirely untrue for divorce in Ontario, and probably other parts of Canada. Spousal support and divorce settlements in general have nothing to do with infidelity. No-fault divorce is available after 1 year of separation. For the financials the court uses a formula based on length of marriage and relative incomes as their guideline.
Good for Ontario for learning from the clusterfuck down South.
Bad for Ontario for creating a strict formula with no caps that doesn’t consider the possibility that the man might not be making as money later in his career. Dave Foley got a divorce when he was at the top of his career, but since he’s not on TV anymore and not making anywhere near the money he was getting when he was on TV. His alimony payments are higher than his income now, the judge admitted this, but the law didn’t consider this as a possibility. Last I heard he can’t return to Canada or he’ll be arrested.
So it’s a poorly written law.
I think that’s fair too. If someone destroys their marriage by cheating on their wife/husband it’s not surprising they wouldn’t be entitled to supplemental income
It’s just so fucking painful to imagine. Being cheated on feels fucking awful. Then having to permanently pay someone who did that to you. Also, if that cheating was the cause of the divorce, then that means they’re not just taking money from you, that person took your marriage from you.
So you’re sexually violated, lose your most valuable relationship, and then you have to pay the person who did it to you like they’re your landlord.
The original intent behind alimony was to compensate a homemaker who had put their career on hold and essentially trashed their resume. They’d permanently hobbled their earning potential for the marriage and the marriage fell apart.
It only became possible to even think of alimony as supplemental income in the 90s and early 2000s when judges were handing decisions to women almost as a matter of course. It took a decade or two before divorce courts (and family courts) started to chill out and look at things a little more objectively, but even during the bad old days infidelity was the one thing that every single judge would throw the book at you for.
It’s pretty obvious she has a career writing magazine articles complaining about her life, so she should have some sort of income, and alimony shouldn’t count. Never mind all of the infidelity that everyone else is mentioning.
If writing on medium is a career then I’m a professional lemming
Just for some pretext here:
LOL, “pretext” is right.
Even if she was a stay-at-home wife, then she would get half the husband’s assets. So she shouldn’t be dirt poor
Unless all he had was dirt
She’s a published author. That’s called having a career.
Its sad that your perfectly logical and objective comment got downvoted. Thanks for speaking truth that people dont want to hear.
We are totally ok with that truth. It just isn’t relevant here. Especially given the 4th headline “I divorced my husband because I couldn’t trust him with my money”. It seems like her financial troubles and his lack of financial troubles had nothing to do with the state of their finances during the marriage. And if alimony is involved at all, it would be a contributor to her post divorce financial problems, as it sounds like she would be the one paying if there is any.
Except it’s perfectly clear that she has a career as a published author.
I cheated on my spouse
There’s really just no way of knowing what could have happened to end their relationship. Truly one of the worlds biggest puzzles.
Alimony is generally denied when there’s infidelity. Actions have consequences
Edit: Not sure why my comment posted twice. Deleted the other
Yeah, I’m going to go ahead and say that Elle Silver seems like a bitch you don’t want to be with.
Vain Asylum sounds about right
Really feels like all of these can be true at the same time. She says in the article she doesn’t promote cheating, that it was wrong, and that it didn’t fix the problems she was facing in her marriage. Divorces suck. There’s a reason they’re a flash point for manosphere grifters to latch onto. The family unit is a means of wealth redistribution. We have a system where doing the right thing and ending a shitty relationship means you now have to pay double your bills with the same income and you’re also losing tax credits and sometimes benefits.
Really feels like all of these can be true at the same time
I think it’s impossible to cheat on your spouse while being a good parent. Show your kids how adults handle relationships, not teenagers.
Fafo?
Fucked Around and Found Out
Feces Acceptata, Feces Oblatae
It’s latin for “garbage in, garbage out”
Fuck around and find out, maybe?
Feline Aids For Oprah.
Wait what? I thought it was Feline Aides For Oprah.
Shit I gotta go make some calls
MINGEY NOOOOOOOO!
Fly Air Force Ospreys.
Looks like there’s some highly tarnished Silver available if anyone’s interested.