I apologize in advanced for this rant, as it’s very heat of the moment.
I have struggled with the social aspects of social media ever since the world shifted from MySpace to Facebook. It feels like I can’t say anything without it being contentious, and no, before you bring out the pitchforks, I don’t mean “omg I said something bigoted and couldn’t get away with it.”
I left Facebook back in 2013 because while I was dating my now-wife, I posted a short, oozy “She said she loves me back! <3 <3” which blew up into some weird thing in our respective communities, from people at her church throwing a fit, her best friend ending up in tears that she wasn’t told first, her youth pastor bringing it up in class, people in my life that didn’t know her complaining that either they had planned on dating me or “why don’t you date someone more local?”.
From that moment, I felt like the magic of conversing online was truly dead, that nothing could be said without needless ramification.
I had not posted since then on any media, passively and quietly enjoying Reddit posts, scouring Instagram, and sharing funny or thought-provoking posts with my partner. Along came Lemmy, with all of the magic of the internet of old, and fellow nerdlings ready to discuss any tech or fandom my little heart could desire. A smaller group of folks, who know that in order to help keep the community alive, you should make an effort to be an active participant.
So I did.
Granted, I have not posted much (and before you go digging through my posts to see what scandalous things that I’ve said, note that this is not my only account, so this isn’t a datapool of only a handful of posts), but I’ve been trying to make an effort to join the discussion. Now, in real life, people have described me as charismatic and likeable, though it feels awkward to say it of myself, so you can imagine my surprise when the majority of my comments were responded to with rage, taking a flippant remark and mad that I didn’t come with sources and thorough research, or angry that I wouldn’t be on some bandwagon about what the best (name of function) company is.
I’ve seen several (no, I’m not including sources currently) posts on Lemmy regarding how to raise user engagement, and at the time of reading them, I got all excited and on-board with wanting to raise engagement, but with my recent experiences, I can no longer blame anyone that chooses not to participate. It’s all too easy for text to be misconstrued - where inflection and tonality of voice is missed. People are mad, and rightfully so, about anything, it could be the state of the world, your local governments, how someone else on the internet treated you, or your experience with a particular product, but I am a random person trying to make light conversation on a public platform. I am not your enemy, though I can’t blame others for assuming the worst of anything on the internet, a history of trolls and malicious actors have turned us into this.
I miss getting excited, rather than anxious, when I see that I have a reply.
I’ve seen great conversation on this platform, I know it’s out there, and I know Lemmy has a wonderful, intelligent, supportive, and amazing community, so I’d love to hear your thoughts. How can we, as people, remediate this conversational tension.
Thank you in advanced, and I love you all

  • Dr. Wesker@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    0·
    11 months ago

    Social media is dead, it’s just advertising platforms now. If it’s not corporate advertising, then the users are essentially being encouraged to advertise themselves for “engagement”.

    There are those of us trying to find ways to return to the "smolnet’. And I do feel we are on the cusp of a renaissance.

    I too have enjoyed Lemmy, because of it’s smaller userbase. But also because it’s a lot of nerds, with particular interests, who want to talk about or share said interests.

    Speaking of special interests, forums and bulletin boards are still alive and breathing. You kind of have to seek them out according to your interests, but they definitely scratch an itch when you find a couple good ones that interest you.

    IRC is also still alive (on life support) and more difficult to navigate than forums, in my experience. Lots and lots of dead channels and servers to sift through. My biggest wish in the internet world is for IRC to see a resurgence.