Maybe the point is to be told you are “so strong” feels invalidating because the lived experience of it doesn’t feel strong. Instead it feels otherwise. I think it does take strength to simply survive adversity, but talking about it needs to acknowledge both that it takes strength to survive adversity and that it doesn’t feel to the person doing the surviving like they are strong.
Maybe the point is to be told you are “so strong” feels invalidating because the lived experience of it doesn’t feel strong. Instead it feels otherwise. I think it does take strength to simply survive adversity, but talking about it needs to acknowledge both that it takes strength to survive adversity and that it doesn’t feel to the person doing the surviving like they are strong.