Occasionally I have these days where I don’t feel like doing work or chores. So I’m thinking, why not just enjoy myself, do something that interests me?
But then I don’t find any motivation to do anything really. Not even the things I normally enjoy very much.
Typically I would then waste time browsing or watching videos, but that seems to make it worse. How to snap out of this?
Often, I loop some music such that it becomes slightly annoying for me, and tell myself that I can’t turn it off until I do the task. I’ve heard of something called “Autistic Inertia”, which states that we have a lot of difficulty starting to do something, but can easily keep doing it once we started.
Another thing I sometimes do is set micro deadlines. Eg: If I finish getting ready before 8:30, I can have a short break, otherwise I go directly to the next task which I must complete by 9:30. (Though I might adjust the time if I am running behind)
Something I remember hearing is “Don’t wait to be motivated to do stuff, or you won’t get anything done.”
Thanks for the links. I feel the inertia strongly sometimes. Even when doing something I normally consider fun, I often find it difficult to stop and do something else when it starts getting less fun / boring.
Yeah. I call it being tired when anyone asks how I’m doing.
Burnout is a bitch. If I knew the solution I would share it.
‘Why don’t you try being more happy?’ <- actual advice given by family members. 🤦
“Well, Ma, I was “more happy,” but then you and Dad got horny and ripped me from the void!”
Its easy bro just secrete some more brain hormones
Oh wow, I didn’t know. Thanks! Makes some more brain hormones
Depression sucks.
If it just unmotivated, make yourself go out. Set that as a goal. Just to get out of the house. Then work on doing something outside. A short walk , then look for some longer ones and try those.
My wife makes me take the dog on walks once a week and that helps
If it’s more, you might need therapy. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Beyond walking the dog, I hate leaving the house. I can spike a panic attack doing the shopping.
Ymmv
You’re spot on. I don’t even notice it myself. But during these kind of days, I always just sit at home and do nothing. I like walking actually, but for some reason my motivation for that drops as well and then I don’t feel like going outside either. But it always helps, even if I don’t feel like it.
I’d love to have a dog or cat at home, but I don’t think I have the financial means at the moment. And I don’t want to get one if I don’t think I’ll be able to take care of it properly.
I just girlrot til it’s over. Can’t force motivation. Best thing is to learn what stuff over depleted it and plan around that for the future.
Sometimes it’s pretty clear, but other times it feels like I had a great week and then suddenly I don’t feel like doing anything anymore.
Never heard of ‘girlrot’ before, learned something new :) It’s definitely a good description of what i’ll end up doing most of these times.
Separate all of your problems into small finite categories and deal with them in order of importance: Health > Food > Shelter > Money > Companionship > Fulfillment
I actually used to struggle to find energy to do anything before I found out I was allergic to grass, trees, dogs, cats, horses, some insects, etc. Now I take a prescription antihistamine and I feel fine, like maybe benchpressing the sofa might be cool. Problem is, most people have a hard time finding the problems with health, the part that’s wrong with themselves, first and foremost.
Yeah it’s not easy to figure out what exactly is wrong sometimes. I think my body either gives me no signals or mixes things up.
I think this is partly because during my childhood, I often felt uncomfortable (eating certain food, paying attention for hours in class, trying to make friends, etc…) but didn’t have the option to actually recover or rest. When you are at school, you can’t really retreat into your own chamber and take a nap or avoid bothersome noises, lights or social situations.
I learned that playing videogames or browsing was a very effective way for me to feel better (because it just drowned out all the senses and allowed full focus). But in the end, I feel like I’ve trained myself to ignore what my body says, and in the long run this just leads to more problems.
More recently, I have learned to listen a bit more to my own needs (sometimes as simple as feeling that I need to go to the toilet, and actually doing it). But it’s still something that is not natural for me at the moment.
I have those moments all the time.
Just have to make it until after work and I can have a break
Just have to make it until the end of the week and I can rest for a couple of days
Just have to make it until the next holiday
Just have to make it
This was pretty much me in university and during the first years of my work. It just feels like endless postponing of actually doing the things you want. But it never comes.
I’m starting to wonder if I just have much less capacity (in terms of energy) than other people.
Yep that’s me
@Aurenkin oof that’s life, yep.
at some point I realized I’ll “make it” but it doesn’t get better, so …
so nothing, I guess.I’ve been through every selective neurotransmitter reuptake inhibitor, and they pull off the amazing feat of being habit-forming drugs that do not actually help one feel better.
What’s your experience with SSRIs? I never wanted to even try because I feel I would just get used to them after a while and then be stuck paying for medication without really feeling better.
@NationProtons Firstly, many SSRIs are pretty cheap, like a few bucks for a refill of a generic, even without insurance. But they all are difficult to “titrate up.” You’ll feel pretty bad the first week or three. Then, while symptoms of depression will abate, you’ll also have somewhat less positive affect. Then when you stop, you’ll have mood swings that will fuck with your life.
Some people find that the right SSRI or SNRI is really helpful. For me, most of them were frustrating dead ends.
That’s a disturbing poem.
I found this condition while trying to understand how I often feel. Anhedonia wikipedia link
Yeah, that describes it pretty well. And probably also Avolition
Yes.
Poorly.
Since it usually stops within a week, I fully engage in the routine for that time
I got nothing to add to the comments already written but wanted to say “thanks for sharing”, 'cause I’m in this mood now for weeks. It’s like I’m waiting for something to happen without knowing what this something is. Luckily I’m going on holidays a few weeks from now. So: Thank you for sharing.
Hope you will feel better soon. It sucks if it lasts for weeks. And it can be so difficult to get out of it.
Lately I’ve started forcing myself to do nothing during those moments, like literally nothing. I set a timer for an hour and then turn off my phone and computer and lay down or just sit and kind of stare at a wall.
The boredom is horrible but the good news is that by the end of the hour, usually my mind has come up with a few things it would rather do than nothing.
Also, sometimes I can’t make it the full hour doing nothing but I only let myself do productive/healthy things like reading or doing dishes. It’s not really enjoyable but by the end of the hour it does feel slightly good that I was slightly productive.
Idk if it’ll work for you and idk if I’ll be able to keep doing it, but maybe it’s worth a shot. Tell me how it goes if you try it lol.
Light depression can be caused by a lot of things, and doesn’t mean you have clinical depression. Things that work for me:
- Be more active. No, Indont mean you have to go kill yourself working out. Just go for a short walk
- Disconnect from media and technology. If you use social media, get away from it for 24 hours. People don’t talk about it enough but it’s literally engineered to give you constant dopamine so you get addicted to it. Overall of you’re in front of a computer all day, just get away from it and go make a trip. Even just to get groceries.
- Sleep. The one everyone loves making memes about. Truthfully though if your sleep schedule is super fucked, it can be a big problem causer. Not sure that’s a word. You get me though.
Good luck friend. I’ve been there several times. Nothing sucks more than not knowing what to do to make yourself happy.
Walking definitely does help me. And my sleep is fine as far as I can tell. Disconnecting is an issue though, I feel like all my hobbies are related to using the computer and I work as a software engineer, so very difficult to avoid being exposed to / reminded of online media and such.
Still didn’t find a good solution for this. But I do notice that If I meditate regularly, it’s easier to avoid spending all day on my computer.
If walking is easier than cutting screen time maybe try a walking pad or under desk treadmill. May need a monitor arm if you can afford it, but it’ll help to be more active. At the end of the day these are just suggestions. Burn out is real and can easily be an explanation as well. Happened to me when I was WFH and basically at the computer for 12+ hours a day.
I feel like WFH actually helps me because I have more control over my time and can actually take breaks instead of having to pretend to be busy all the time. But in reality, I did spend much more time just in front of my desk and forcing myself to look at my screen, even though I’m not doing anything useful at the moment.
Often I was working, having meetings and eating, all at my desk. And then in the evening, I keep sitting at my desk and just start browsing or gaming. After a while, it’s no wonder one becomes depressed.
For some reason I feel it’s unfair though. Like why do I need to spend my free time meditating, doing sports, and maintaining my physical and mental wellbeing, just to be able to keep working for 8 hours a day? Isn’t it enough that they already get 8 hours? Even worse for people that used to commute for multiple hours each day in the past.
These may be depressive symptoms. It may be a good idea to find someone close to you to talk to, and keep them up-to-date about the situation. Make sure it’s someone you trust and can open up to. It may also help to seek professional help if you feel it is getting worse or if you experience physical symptoms as well. We all have a need for genuine human connection, and talking to someone can help. It may make it easier for you to get back in touch with your more positive emotions, to ‘snap’ back into that positive or happier state of mind where things make sense like they usually do. Hope this helps. Much love from the Netherlands. ❤️
Heel erg bedankt voor je suggesties!
I’m living in a different country now, and can only contact my friends in the evening hours (And I find it very difficult to talk to them about these kind of things.) My partner is very helpful for me, but I cannot expect them to deal with my worries all the time (I also don’t want to drag them down.)
Professional help would be useful, but thus far, I have not found anyone that really seemed to understand my situation. I find it very difficult to connect with anyone, even with my parents and friends I often have to push myself to keep any meaningful connection.
