An incredible band that I love is releasing a new album. And I’m just sitting here thinking I might never get to see a live show again. My health fell apart a few years ago and there’s so much I just can’t participate in now and it’s so alienating and sad. I remember being drunk and dancing in crowds seemingly not that long ago, now I have to spend close to 80% of my time in bed just to have enough energy to do the basics like cook and shower and eat. It sucks. I miss being in rooms full of strangers and screaming and just living life in public at all, being around other humans. I don’t have anyone to help me do things, and every cool thing that happens in the world now is bittersweet because I can’t directly enjoy it. I’m like only able to have small bites of life and I am really really really really really really really sad about it. I might never get to see any band live again at all, and if I ever do through some incredible stroke of luck I still won’t be able to jump around or stand up or drink like I would want to. My enthusiasm is trapped in my body seemingly forever now. It’s just shit. Other things about life are good, great even, but this specific way of being in the world and being around like minded people feels like it’s gone forever.
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VR + VRChat has been life changing for many people in similar situations. I would highly suggest checking it out if at all possible. Seek out adult groups/worlds. You can still have a very social life in VR. That shit saved me during COVID and I ended up in a long term relationship.
This is a great suggestion. Where did you go to meet people in those spaces? Edit: real people.
Buying tech probably isnt in the cards for me anytime soon, but i am so curious where adults are going to like actually hang out online. It seems less common these days
I would suggest getting on as late as possible (when most of the kids are asleep). Then it’s just a matter of world hopping until you find some people you relate to. If you have a gaming PC you can run the PC version of VRChat. There are many worlds that can only be accessed on PC and they tend to have more mature people. But even if you’re just on Quest there are plenty of folks on there. In time you’ll build a friend list and find your people.
This youtube channel is the gold standard as far as vrchat guides: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMMBpWfWUd3xlcOxrot_neA
Meta is releasing a new budget headset this holiday season. You could also opt for an old Quest 2 for hella cheap. They’re showing their age but it’ll get you in there to see how you like it.
Thanks, for both the info and the idea!
Is it The Smashing Pumpkins?
No, it’s Foxing. Making a mental note to be on the lookout for new smashing pumpkins, though.
August 2
I feel for you. That sounds really hard.
Thank you <3
That sucks ass.
I’m in a similar position. Family went on vacation without me. Two years ago I could have gone with them. I couldn’t have been very active but lounging on the beach watching the kids play sounds like heaven right now.
Come join us at [email protected] if you haven’t already.
It’s so hard. Sorry you’re also dealing with it. <3
That’s really rough. To find something you love and then being denied it is worse that never having found it all. Not sure what you are looking for by posting online but if I may offer advice it’s this. When I went to see live music it was just as much about seeing familiar friends in the crowd. We were all part of the.music scene. Some of us were in bands, some deejayed on college radio, some put out fanzines or promoted shows. Looking back it’s the folks around me I remember the most, the bands were the soundtrack in the background. Appreciate the support group you have around you. Family, friends, even the people who’s job it is to be there for you.
Not sure what I was looking for either but this is good advice. Thank you <3
Hang in there! I hope you find new meaning in old things or old meaning in new things.
I feel that so hard.
I make do with recorded shows and livestreams, but it just ain’t the same.
I was never fond of the people, per se, but crowds at a concert were bearable and different from other crowds, so it was cool
But, yah, most days there’s just enough spoons for the necessary, so having any left for a good show isn’t realistic. Hell, catching a movie with a friend takes planning and careful choices of theater.
So, I suspect I’ve had ME/CFS (undiagnosed officially) myself.
It does get better. Just took some years for me.
