Every time I go outside to my yard, my elderly neighbor comes out and tries to talk with me. Every. Single. Time. Without fail. I go out to relax and do gardening and yard work, and his presence makes me increasingly anxious & leaves me feeling particularly uncomfortable/unsafe.
He is dealing with dementia, and has become increasingly vulgar and outspoken, and even made some vastly inappropriate remarks about his wife & my other neighbor while my child was right there.
His wife is tired. I know this. Christ, I would be, too. He was kind of insufferable even before the dementia got bad (think him talking about his shitty political views), but, god… I am so tired of babysitting him while I try to unwind in my own yard. He’ll talk over the fence or simply waltz past it and follow me around while I try to do stuff or as I’m trying to talk to my kid.
One thing I know is this: do not piss off your neighbors, because, chances are, you will probably be living next to them for a looooong time.
What can I do? I just want peace without feeling like I’m being accosted.
Wear headphones and/or pretend he doesn’t exist? Make your fence taller? If his wife is still mentally sound, discuss it with her?
I’ve worn headphones before, and he’ll just stand at the fence and watch me intensely until I acknowledge him. Absolutely unnerving.
I’ve mentioned it to his wife, but she’s tired. She just sighs and says “Yeah, he’s just like that. Plus, you know, he’s got dementia.” and shrugs it off.
Damn, that sounds horrible. So sorry for you.
My kid stood between us once when I was wearing headphones, then asked if I’d go make food. In a later talk, the poor kid said the way the neighbor was staring at me was “way too weird” and they wanted to get me out of there.
It’s become a problem, but I just don’t have a solution.
I was going to suggest headphones too