• Mango@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Legalizing it won’t take the shame out. There is no such thing as serious and dignified sex. We’re animals that have a really fucking stupid and silly desire that we’re aware of but can’t just not want anyhow. Best we can do is try not to take it seriously.

    • angrystego@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Not serious does not equal shameful. You should not feel ashamed to have fun.

      Edit: You should feel very ashamed if you hurt someone while having fun, but that’s a different story.

        • angrystego@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Yep, that’s shame. But you’re not obligated to be ashamed of it. Not everyone is. There’s nothing wrong about having sex. It’s the culture around us that makes it feel shameful for many people.

      • Mango@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        People like you who look away from the bad shit are the ones who enable it. The pedos and rapists won’t seek help when you make them taboo. Instead they’ll hide and that’s where they do the most damage. It’s not people like me you have to worry about. All I do is approach the topic with honesty and keep my eyes open.

        • Duamerthrax@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          nah. You’re a huge waking Red Flag. Your premise is based on the idea that human beings have no sense of self control. You claim to be an atheist, but are using the same logic as theists do, but framed differently.

          • Mango@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            You think everyone out there is exercising their self control, or do you think we just deleted our instincts? Either thought is stupid AF.

    • idiomaddict@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      We can have dignified sleep, food, and bathing, and those are silly animalistic needs. Why not sex?

      • Mango@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Bro I have no idea what you’re on about, but you should smoke some shit that makes some sense.

        • catbum@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          They’re talking about how religions like Christianity make sex a “shameful” act that should never be enjoyed outside of anything but institutional marriage, even though it’s completely natural to desire consensual sex for myriad reasons.

          The fact that humans can recognize the biological motivations of sexuality and its various purposes (pleasure, connection, procreation) doesn’t make sex stupid, silly, or somehow undignified. Religious institutions try hard to make anything sexual a sin in order to shame adherents into not having sex because “only God can grant you that joy and only within marriage, anything else sends you straight to hell.”

          • Mango@lemmy.world
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            3 months ago

            Trigger warning here I guess. Gonna talk about rape.

            Ok there’s a bit to unpack here. You think sex isn’t silly? There is nothing serious about sex except the consequences.

            I wanna point out that you are putting ‘natural’ and ‘consensual’ out there when there’s evolutionary pressure purposes for rape and even manipulation. I’d also heard somewhere that most of cat sex is some kind of rape. Ask yourself why most of the world population is related to Ghengis Khan. I’m with you that bodily autonomy is super important and consent matters. I certainly don’t want people crossing my personal boundaries with leverage instead of invitation. It’s just silly to think that there’s nothing natural about rape or even shit so bad as pedophilia. There are reasons that make plenty of sense if you step outside your comfort zone and think about it. It can make sense and still be bad.

            Anywho back to the original topic. I’m super atheist and don’t think about religion for one second when I say there’s all kinds of rain to be embarrassed about sex stuff. Shit is humiliating. I will lick things I normally wouldn’t touch. Don’t tell me any of that has to be serious because I might melt.

            • Xella@lemmy.world
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              3 months ago

              Did … did you just say pedophilia is natural? Any and all arguments you have made are null and void. Your opinion is shit and you should feel like shit.

              • Mango@lemmy.world
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                3 months ago

                You don’t think there’s an evolutionary advantage to getting at girls first when they’re young as possible before other guys do? You don’t think that advantage from that behavior got passed into genes? Why do you think it happens? There’s no rational sociably equitable reason for it. I’m not sitting here condoning it. It’s obviously bad. Youth generally comes with all the indicators of health. I don’t think you consider the word ‘natural’ the same way I do. You think of natural as being ‘okay and healthy’ and I think of it as ‘wild, competitive, and not consciously regulated’. Behavior is not generally without reason. Everything is because of reasons.

                • Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz
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                  3 months ago

                  Against my better judgement I’m gonna try to respond to this.

                  You don’t think there’s an evolutionary advantage to getting at girls first when they’re young as possible before other guys do?

                  To begin with, prepubescent girls can’t get pregnant. After that, young girls have an increased risk of not being able to carry a pregnancy to term, dying in childbirth, and of birthing children who end up underdeveloped.

                  You don’t think that advantage from that behavior got passed into genes?

                  No, then it would likely be more commonplace instead of being abnormal.

                  Youth generally comes with all the indicators of health.

                  I strongly disagree with this assessment when it comes to people who have not physically developed into adulthood yet.

                  Behavior is not generally without reason. Everything is because of reasons.

                  Sometimes those reasons are because something has gone wrong. Or because of random chance. To think every behavior fulfills an intended purpose that is evolutionarily beneficial is unscientific in my view.

                  • Mango@lemmy.world
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                    3 months ago

                    Ok so I’m not taking about pedophilia I guess. It’s the middle ground one where’s it’s post puberty because that’s what makes sense. Gotta also consider the social aspect of it. Claiming a girl while she’s still so young is likely to mean she’s around when she can have a baby.

                    You’re right that some behavior can be totally random because of an error and the error is reason, but it really seems like there’s a LOT of pedophiles and rapists. I can only imagine there’s a much more compelling reason.

                    Edit: I’m glad you’re not one of the trolls.

                • CO5MO ✨@midwest.social
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                  3 months ago

                  We are no longer hunter-gatherers doing what is needed to survive the seasons. We live in a fucking modern society. What the fuck. 😵‍💫

                  • Mango@lemmy.world
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                    3 months ago

                    Yes, obviously, but evolution is slow. The last 100,000 years has done next to nothing.

                • VOwOxel@discuss.tchncs.de
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                  3 months ago

                  That first sentence made me physically recoil. What is wrong with you? Go seek help, for all of our sakes.

                  • Mango@lemmy.world
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                    3 months ago

                    What’s wrong with me? Absolutely nothing. I’m just looking at evidence and not covering my eyes pretending everyone is above the shit they’re consistently caught doing.

                • fosho@lemmy.ca
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                  3 months ago

                  this sounds like incel logic disguised as sensible evolutionary science. we have social etiquette that requires treating these topics with a delicacy that you have completely ignored which raises all sorts of red flags. if you want to be listened to about controversial topics then you are going about it in an awful way.

                  • Mango@lemmy.world
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                    3 months ago

                    Etiquette stops the instant someone calls me a pedophile, incel, or otherwise tries to their me under a bus. Get fucked.

    • Charapaso@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      You’re getting dragged in the discussion below, and while I think I understand your more specific points below, I’d like to offer some perspective on this general point instead of continuing down those lines.

      Here you’ve set the tone by calling sex inherently shameful. Not being serious/dignified isn’t the same as shameful. For me, shame comes with some moral failing. I’m ashamed when I disappoint someone, or get angry for something petty, or act petty myself. Not because of being undignified. I’m not ashamed when I fart, that’s just my body. However, I am ashamed when I fart in a public place, because it’s smelly and few people deserve to suffer like that.

      So my counterargument to your perspective here: sex isn’t inherently shameful, but it can be because of context. Banging too loud when having guests over is shameful: not because of being loud, but because of the lack of consent - being too loud when everyone around consents to that kind of behavior is fine. No shame if you’re in a place where everyone is hooking up, and everyone knows the walls are thin. That’s just fun. Not dignified, not serious, but fun. So the sex part isn’t the problem. Not inherently.

      To the main point - if everyone would just be cool about sex work, I honestly think folks wouldn’t ascribe shame to participating in sex work. I’ve lived in small communities in the Amazon where there was essentially no shame associated with consensual non monogamy, outside of the religious folk. Different social structure and beliefs in that region made it much more open…so I heartily reject calling sex a shameful act. That’s too much moral baggage to ascribe to such a natural, zesty enterprise.

      • Mango@lemmy.world
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        3 months ago

        Would you brag about how many people you let fuck you for money? I didn’t say sex is shameful. The topic is prostitution. You have sex for money when you’re too lazy to do something productive or when you’re naturally good looking and wanna make a big profit on people’s lust. I don’t need religion to tell me that shit is lame.

        Sex is fine. Getting rich for your body count is gross.

        Edit: prostitution is lame for basically the same reason as music artists selling out.

        • Charapaso@lemmy.world
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          3 months ago

          Ok well there we go: I don’t think sex work is inherently “lame”, nor that it should be stigmatized.

          I’ve never had sex for money, or paid for sex, but I don’t see why it should be illegal or shameful. I’ve watched plenty of porn that’s shameful because of the exploitation of folks, but there’s good porn out there that isn’t that. As for literally prostitution, and not the broader sex work label…some folks are too anxious to have sex without it, some people want to engage in really specific kinks, some people are just bored and want no strings attached sex.

          Sex is as natural as eating, and I think being a good chef is something to be proud of.