I mean, I don’t think we should look to the past for mental stability. Alcoholism, violence, and spousal/domestic abuse are all examples of things that were way more common and borderline-accepted back then. I’d rather someone’s reaction to stress be a panic attack rather than beating their children.
I think it’s more about acknowledging that a lot of people are hyperbolic so they can be perceived as a victim. Anxiety is a real thing but some people act like it’s the peak of human suffrage for attention, and that is worthy of laughing at, not the anxiety itself
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Suffrage is one of those English language-internal false friends - you could easily confuse it with a personalised state of suffering, especially if English isn’t your first language (my bigger anxieties around this is finding out a word I used extensively has a different meaning than I thought)…
Or that you’ve been pronouncing a word wrong for years because you’ve only ever read it and never heard from another person. It happened to me multiple times that I’ve read a name usually from mythology wrong (swapping two adjacent letters) and then always read it like that until I pronounced it in front of somebody who corrected me.
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internet discourse is so attention-seeking, contentious and unempathetic that I feel like it’s fostered a culture where people expressing hurt are routinely interrogated and doubted just in case they’re seeking undeserved attention. (because some people do!)
so, people are caught between a rock and a hard place. They can be honest about what burdens them in a way that leaves room for critique, and take the emotional damage that comes from the interrogation of their experiences. or they find extreme, bulletproof-sounding, “nobody could be ok under these circumstances” ways of putting their problems that aren’t in line with reality.
The former is honest but puts you at emotional risk when you’re already vulnerable. The latter is inauthentic but does grant the solidarity and support they’re seeking in the first place. I can’t really blame the people who pick door #2, especially when this decision is conditioned over long periods of social media use. It’s also in line with catastrophization, a common distortion many of us experience already.
notably, this has always been a common problem with how PTSD is understood, specifically complex trauma. many people discount their own trauma because it’s not the typical “got my limb blown off” image of trauma and they’ll occasionally be attacked for claiming they are traumatized. So they find more extreme ways to put their trauma that do get them the support they’re seeking. (and need!)
I don’t know what the solution to any of this is but I do feel it comes from a real place and I put the blame more on social media than the individuals, despite how annoyed I can get with people when I see it.
“Pahshaw! Don’t listen to Sally over there, she’s just having her woman time. When we get home, I’ll give her a good knock about and she’ll remember herself. Now, where’s my paint thinner? I have a frightful thirst.”
That kind of stuff always reminds me of an episode from a show about rich people. They showed a rich mother organizing a birthday party for her toddler that was ridiculously fancy and having a complete meltdown because some napkins were another shade of pink. That’s the worst that life has ever given her, a different shade of napkins.
My sister in law had a meltdown last thanksgiving that included screaming at her husband, and storming off to her bathroom to spend the rest of the day (up until food, and then she demanded someone bring her a specific selection on a plate) in a jacuzzi tub. The whole house reverberate when it’s on, it’s quite annoying.
The absolutely soul-crushing, terrible, impossibly bad thing that happened?
Her husband grabbed the wrong shade of blue curtains from the closet, and she had to wait an extra 90 seconds to put them up. Legitimately don’t understand how he’s stayed married to her for 15 years. Apparently she’s always been like this to him over the smallest bullshit.
Nobody went and flipped the breaker for the jacuzzi? People like that obviously need practice dealing with inconveniences.
It’s giving Schitt’s Creek
Have you ever interacted with a toddler in real life? They freak the fuck out about weird shit. That’s just what they do. They’re insane. Doesn’t mean they’re spoiled brats. Just means they’re normal toddlers…
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Oh. Well in that case she sounds like an insane person. Nevermind.
Plot twist: the mother was 4 years old
Right, and their unresolved ptsd lead to them not being the best parents which was part of a cycle that led to you.
Even without bad parenting, ptsd can be inherited through epigenetics
Isn’t the idea that previous generations suffered so that future generations don’t have to? If my kids never have to know a life where their parents worked such long hours away from home that they became latch key kids, then society and I have done our jobs. Right?
Something something boomers/silent generation bad though.
I was looking at it from the other way around, where any generation looks down on the next generation because they’re soft because my generation had/did XYZ; not limited to boomers or their silent generation.
Yea for sure. It is the way of the world to think that your generation is superior to the next. I’m sure Boomers thought Gen X were a bunch of pussies playing DnD with their fiends and playing arcade games. Now Gen X looks hard af compared to Millenials, who look hard compared to Zoomers. It’s just life lol.
Yea. But now our major towns and cities are getting much worse.
Lots of countries seem to be going in reverse and have been in reverse for decades.
I think the best option would be to get off of nicotine products. They aren’t exactly good for you.
They aren’t exactly good for you.
Or bad necessarily. From my understanding nicotine is similar to caffeine in that regard. The harm is in the other stuff you’re pumping into your lungs
Addiction is bad for you, and nicotine is really addictive if you let it rewire your brain (it is a dopamine agonist).
I stopped drinking coffee over a week. It took me over a decade to drop nicotine.
Yeah Nicotine is also very bad for your mental health long term. You become so hooked on it that you literally can not be happy without it.
It’s such a pacifier. And with vaping, you can get a little hit almost no matter where you are - don’t even need to step out for a break
It actually makes a lot of sense from a business. The vaping companies want you to live a long life hopelessly addicted.
Totally. It’s no wonder tobacco companies are deeply invested in smoking cessation and alternatives (or so I’ve heard - don’t ask me for a source).
Their government made sure to keep those men loaded up on cigarettes and booze because it was the only way to keep those soldiers fighting. Nicotine is a hell of a drug
Can confirm, grandpa was a WW2 vet (+ a few of the postcolonial wars that followed). He used to say that soldiers morale hinges on wine and cigarettes.
Also he died of lung cancer after surviving all that shit, including being a POW for 4+ years in extremely shitty conditions in Cambodia
Ancestors: “We’re glad you can have a more peaceful future, where your great stress is cherry capes, not bombs in trenches.”
Shaming addicts for going into withdrawal isn’t much different from shaming vets having ptsd
Well, we’re doing both so it’s okay.
/sIt IS really hard to understand what someone is going through if you’ve never been in that position yourself, and even then it’s hard.
On the other hand: You never know when to attribute a behavior from someone to malice. And it’s also very easy to stop working on oneself when not pressured in doing so, especially for addicts.
So yeah, a bit of banter is necessary.
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Unfortunately not how nicotine works
As a guy who worked with military a bunch, they also have panic attacks when they forget their vape at home. Lmfao old philipino guy i worked with was a vet and threw a 2 day hissy fit because he lost his vape at home and only quit when he got a new one from the base commissary.
Okay but I realy think that you should definitely not vape, at all.
P.S.: fixed grammar for “definitely”
I think the majority of vapers are probably aware of that.
*really
*Definitely
Thank you
Ugh, fuck this shit. Just ask boomers and Gen X how life was for them compared to us.
It must be so weird for Drew (the guy from Giant Bomb in the meme) to browse the internet every day lol!
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I reckon the last bad thing that happened to my ancestors was the civil war.
The English civil war.
England after that has been no picnic
Right, but we fucked off the island and had a grand old time. There are no records that we were in any particular hardship since landing in America.
The other side of the family was busy yodeling in the alps until 1905. Maybe they got caught up in Napoleonic shit.
Uhhhh no. From someone who’s been mortared in the Hesco barriers, that’s not how that works. Stress stacks, and that was obviously the last straw. So what else is going on in their life? Do they have an anxiety condition that needs treatment? Do they deal with a boss that gaslights and threatens them? Did they have a car accident recently?
Unless you know their life intimately you don’t judge.
