More dataisdepressing than dataisbeautiful

    • krnl386@lemmy.ca
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      3 个月前

      And that’s exactly why hagmaxing is a trend now. Women in their reproductive prime (under 30) are basically insufferable socialists/communists which is a turnoff for men of any age… except chads who swat off hordes of women competing for their attention and as the result never have to commit to any serious or long-term relationship.

      • DancingBear@midwest.social
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        3 个月前

        In the age of social media I imagine people are actually a lot more antisocial than we used to be…. And if young men and young women are all online more now and actually go out to interact in person less than we used to, this would make it a lot more difficult for young men to interact with the young women long enough to ask them out….

        • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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          3 个月前

          Online is heavily skewed in women’s favor unfortunately. I had a female coworker that had 100+ matches on bumble and kept complaining how hard it was too keep track of. She wasn’t even very pretty and she had an empty pot for head. Meanwhile male coworkers really struggle. No surprise This will make some males bitter and lash out. Even if they do find a partner Worst part is if the social skills are bad it is a bad relationship. I hope we are not seeing a universe 25 style collapse.

          • DancingBear@midwest.social
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            3 个月前

            I can’t remember which app it was, but I tried online dating over a decade ago. I noticed I wasn’t getting very many responses to any messages I sent out, and it was basically after saying yes to everyone and I had spent some time on the app, so I got to the point where I just messaged everyone a generic opener….

            I talked to my female roommate at the time and I got a couple generic photos of her, she was a young mid 20’s woman who was very pretty but idk average for a young beautiful woman.

            I created a new profile for myself, and also a second profile for her, I let her choose the most attractive photos of me and I chose some dorky not very attractive but still cute I guess photos of her….

            She had ten messages before we were even able to upload the first photo after just creating the account.

            This doesn’t mean that she got messages from guys who were someone she would consider dating. It just means she got a lot of messages. I think guys don’t realize how many messages the women get. They have to wade through hundreds of “hi how are you doing” messages before they can even start a conversation. Whereas the guys have to send out messages that are unique and capture the attention of ladies to get a conversation started. Neither is ideal, it’s just how it is

            • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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              3 个月前

              That’s very true and likely why she felt so overwhelmed. No one is really winning. She would have had a really good match in there but drowned in a sea of options.

              • DancingBear@midwest.social
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                3 个月前

                In this case we only left the app open for a couple hours that afternoon before we deleted it, but it’s just anecdotal evidence that show if we are specifically talking about online dating the problems are just as bad for either sex if we are talking about cis heteronormative relationships

                • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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                  3 个月前

                  A really sad point. Though I think drowning in option is better for self esteem than 0. If males had plenty I doubt we would see such a trend.

          • DancingBear@midwest.social
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            3 个月前

            I wasn’t specifically talking about online dating, but women are generally more desired by men than vice versa, whether online or in person.

            I can’t imagine online dating to be useful than for more than a handful of people in my opinion.

            I was more saying since we are all online more, we are all interacting in person a lot less, which allows for more organic interactions…

            • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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              3 个月前

              Yeah I agree. Wanting to Go back the good old days is what is causing this trend. Though Realistically all the social skills in the world won’t bag you the girl if you are average right now. I knew a few coworkers that wouldn’t even talk to a guy unless he was a 666 man. 6 figures, 6 feet, 6 pack. No surprise they are single. I wonder if their POV changed overtime, they were in early 20s at the time. I know my old roommate lowered her standards super hard over 30 to bag a husband.

                  • DancingBear@midwest.social
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                    3 个月前

                    I don’t think I understand what you are saying. Data does exist.

                    Taller men are generally seen as more attractive.

                    Wealthier people, or people who pay attention to the latest trends in general are seen as more attractive.

                    Healthy and fit people are generally seen as more attractive.

                    All of this is true, but so what. If someone is hyper focused on getting a man or woman to be with them who has these or other specific physical and / or socioeconomic traits, isn’t that for them to decide?

                    If you only want to date women who have been on the covered of the sports illustrated swimsuit edition, isn’t that your choice also?

                    What’s your point?

      • JovialMicrobial@lemm.ee
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        3 个月前

        I’m pretty sure women don’t want to date people who have any sort of disposition that leans towards hating them or believing that women are lesser than men.

        Unfortunately, a lot of men learned that way of thinking early in life(from family and/or media) and it ruins any attempt at a relationship, then they blame women and run to the very people who set them up to fail for validation, or find new ones like that sex trafficker with the pizza boxes, or that canadian psychologist who sugar coats sexism online. Repeat ad nauseum.

        • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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          3 个月前

          I have an old high school friend who is very much into the whole Andrew Tate thing. His parents were separated, I don’t know the details as to why, but I do know that his father was a lot more stable than his mother, and I do sometimes wonder if he had lived with his father, if he would have turned out better.

          He also thinks the earth is flat because… otherwise a ball would roll off a table. QED.

          So not exactly firing an all cylinders to begin with.

          • Ragnarok314159@sopuli.xyz
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            3 个月前

            “Divorced dad energy” is one of those meme things that everyone likes to make fun of when a dude does anything, but no one likes to address that same poison when divorced moms act like fools.

            My mother would drag me to various groups that would absolutely shit on “men” constantly, and I got to hear that constantly. It was weird growing up in that environment, but luckily for me it was before the redpill trash all over the internet. Managed to find some good friends in high school

          • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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            3 个月前

            That’s a interesting point. My mother was substantially more mentally stable when I was a child then when my siblings were born.

        • krnl386@lemmy.ca
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          3 个月前

          That was the mainstream 70-80 years ago. Late 90’s and early 2000’s largely (not completely; nothing is perfect) corrected that, although there was still work to be done. For a brief couple of decades, society enjoyed unadulterated equality underpinned by meritocracy.

          Nowadays men are checking out because modern society overcorrected to the point of them feeling rejected and hated… and unfortunately shithead lowlives like Tate capitalize on that. There are also academics like Peterson whose messaging is too nuanced for the average liberal to comprehend without bias (that’s legitimately difficult to do especially when one’s doctrine actively teaches and encourages ignorance and rejection of opposing views) - kind of like the reverse Tate fanboy, i.e. flaming liberal commie/socialist that would rather dump oil on priceless paintings in museums and run around naked while screaming in people faces while blocking major arterial streets in a busy city in the name of climate change or veganism or some other shit. So on one hand you have Tate fanboys (borderline classical Nazis) and on the other extreme of the spectrum you have overgrown narcissists (basically grown-ass adult toddlers that never developed a proper superego, to use Freudian parlance). I wouldn’t expect an adult toddler with deep-rooted indoctrinated biases to be able to consume or critically analyze any kind of nuanced opinion that did not 100% align with their own… heck, one SJW blue haired leftie with a law degree told me that Peterson’s original argument was that he did not accept trans people, and were genuinely surprised to learn that his sticking point was about compelled speech (weaponized anti-misgendering legislation), rather than being or nor being transgender.

          So from the “incel” perspective (and I am usijg that term rather cynically here, as today’s “incel” is basically the 90’s average 20-30 year old man with classical liberal leanings) on one hand, you have people screaming at you how you’re the problem, you’re a nazi, an incel, blah blah blah, and on the other hand you have people who remind you of the “good old days” when you could settle down, buy a home with a picket fence, a car, a dog/cat, a couple of kids and live your damn life in peace… with a bit of 40-60’s sexism/nazi-ism (depending on who you listen to) sprinkled in. Now whom are you going to listen to as a cis white straight male (the majority of males, BTW)? Hmmm… I wonder…

            • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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              3 个月前

              Didn’t he recently lose his license to practice because he was saying bullshit that no real psychiatrist would agree with?

            • Kalysta@lemm.ee
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              3 个月前

              Didn’t he recently lose his license to practice because he was saying bullshit that no real psychiatrist would agree with?

      • krnl386@lemmy.ca
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        3 个月前

        Well, that and also because the left basically hates them. Hearing narratives like “men are privileged, racist, homophobic, and all the other isms, phobes and ists” combined with DEI initiatives that invalidate and sabotage their hard work and achievements makes them want to disconnect from these groups and modern societal “norms.”

        Why would you date someone who resents and hates you?