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  • kipo@lemm.ee
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    9 days ago

    “I’m sorry, we don’t currently have a code for ‘face intentionally ripped off by black bear’, so your claim was auto-denied.“

    “I’m sorry, since you can still breathe and eat, your appeal of our initial denial was rejected, as the facial reconstructive procedures are considered ‘cosmetic’ in this case.”

    “I’m sorry, your second level appeal of our denial was rejected because, in the year and a half it took to get this far, we changed the laws in our favor and are no longer required to cover the procedures and care required for your condition. It’s also nearly impossible to successfully sue us because we have infinitely more money than you and have congress in our pocket. Thank you for paying your ever-increasing premiums for absolutely minimal coverage.”