I’m a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can’t make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I’m not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I’m at a loss here. Haven’t really talked to the person for over 21 years.

  • MaxHardwood@lemmy.caEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    You never asked to be born. Your parents wanted that. You owe blood relatives nothing. Family are the people you love.

  • FoxyFerengi@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    I’ve been no contact for almost the same amount of time, so I’ll tell you how I’d feel in the same boat.

    My dad had no backbone to protect me while I was in his house, and he didn’t bother trying to stay in my life after I left. He may not have done the abuse, but he definitely allowed it to happen due to inaction. I am always going to miss the parents I thought I had, but it won’t add anything positive to my life to have contact again.

    He is a stranger in a familiar coat

  • kitnaht@lemmy.worldEnglish
    0·
    2 months ago

    With no context on what caused you to go no-contact, nobody can give you a worth-a-shit answer.

    Did he beat you, violently rape you, murder your mother, and rip off your pet birds head and shit in its corpse? You should definitely stay no-contact.

    Did they make a mistake that anyone could make and you were just an angsty teenager that overreacted? You should probably talk to them.

    Without the context of that interaction, don’t take anyone’s advice here.

    • stinky@redlemmy.comEnglish
      0·
      2 months ago

      If OP has made it clear he doesn’t want someone around, and they violate it by sharing phone numbers and sending texts and trying to get back in, then the family isn’t respecting boundaries and is probably why they got cut off in the first place.

      Going no contact is often a last resort after a lifetime of pain. It’s nothing something people do casually.