I went for that exam men of a certain age have to endure. The doc told me to bend over. I told him I’d rather do this lying on my side because I’m don’t feel very stable in that position. He asked why, then looked down and proceeded to take a closer look, going “Ooh right! What happened there then!?”

And there I was with my pants down, being gawked at by a nosy urologist and having to explain myself. I don’t know, it really made me feel miserable.