FlakesBongler [they/them]

Time to set up some Home Alone style traps

Just in case

Oxo GoodGrips Reusable Lint Roller

As someone with many pets, it keeps me looking crisp and stylish

What if it’s this elephant?

How much would it cost to get an elephant to step on this guy’s head?

You’re very welcome

Also, if anything we’re fellow raconteurs

I think you’re cool

Yeah, “cool”

to be fair, this is me half of the time

The Spuds Have Eyes

Only if you’re weird about it

Had an ex who was obsessed with the 80’s even though she was not alive during that time and also refused to actually interact with the art of that era

It was very weird, like she kept asking me questions about what it was like to be alive back then (I was like two) while at the same time refusing to engage with the stuff I loved about it (NES games, Chintzy TV shows like Manimal and early Industrial music)

Felt like I was being examined by a British Explorer back in the 1800’s

Also famous for touching women without consent

Darth Vader should be louder, angrier and have access to a time machine

It’s an inevitable part of modding

Someone forgot their Prozium

False God of equality

It’s name is Equalor and it’s really cool, we hang out and smoke sometimes

That’s right folks

Conan O’Brien? Hamas

T.S. Eliot? Hamas

Rashida Jones? Hamas

Barack Obama? You better believe he’s Hamas

They just kill the dog

Please don’t ask me how I know

Amazing, i love it!

Unfortunately Owlbears are no longer in Pathfinder…