pigginz has a valid viewpoint. Most people I’ve given this advice to respond in similar ways. I think it comes down to two fundamental conflicts, the first is about “Being true to yourself” vs doing otherwise.
Did you see the Barbie movie? There is this great quote:
“You’re not your girlfriend. You’re not your house, you’re not your mink. [Ken] Beach? [Barbie] Nope. You’re not even beach. Maybe all the things that you thought made you you aren’t really you”
The idea is that “you are you”, and it’s more fundamental than superficial things like your clothes, body, job, conversational skills, etc. But if this is true, the idea cuts both ways: if “you” are not any of these things then you may change any of these things and still be true to yourself (because these things are not you!). Sort of absurd. “You” in some sense includes your capabilities, relationships (with people and property), your job, fashion sense, your family, your history, etc. But in a more immediate sense, I think “you” must certainly include your actions. Ken in that movie was an asshole because he acted like one.
So “being true to yourself” vs not is a factor whenever you change your actions. You choose to go to the gym. You choose to talk to strangers . You choose to leave the house. Perhaps you feel that making these choices will have violated your integrity, but I feel that’s hard to sustain which will become clearer when we look at the second fundamental conflict: Is it immoral to choose to act this way?
I would posit that you choose to do these things because you desire a certain outcome. That in itself isn’t immoral, because that’s why we’re all communists. We act certain ways (e.g. by reading books, posting, organizing) because we hope to achieve a certain outcome (a better society). But some actions are certainly immoral: but it depends on both the action and the motivation behind it. For example if you become a life guard because you want to save people, that’s moral. If you become a life guard because you intend to let a select few hated enemies drown, that’s immoral.
It’s immoral to lie and/or pretend to be something you are not, but it’s moral to present yourself as well you can, as far and wide as you can, because you want to attract a partner. But morality requires you to act with honesty, consideration and care towards others.
I remember once getting a book of Murray Bookchin’s collected works (or something from the library). I had assumed that his social ecology would fit well with my environmental interests (it was environmentalism that led me to anti-capitalism which led me to communism). Anyway long story short I couldn’t understand a word of what he was saying. It was english words, but it’s like it wasn’t english sentences. To some extent it’s similar in ML circles – we use certain words in ways that are different. But it honestly just seemed like drivel. If anyone can summarize it for me or link an article that explains it I would appreciate it, as I’ve heard that Murray Bookchin’s writings have also been adopted by some middle east factions (but I don’t recall any details, so don’t quiz me please).