Really cool article. Sri lanka has a similar history with Buddhism serving an anti-imperialist role in fostering a national identity distinct from the (in this case, british) colonizers, who tried to impose christianity on them and openly attacked the monasteries for refusing to submit.
Good to know that Marxism and Buddhism can mix, and that buddhism doesn’t have to serve a reactionary role. The heritage of the bhikkhu by Walpola Rahula, one of the most important Buddhist monks of the 20th century, has a good history of the history of Sri Lankan Buddhist nationalism.
You’re clearly going through something rn, and none of us are mental health professionals, or equipped to deal with your problems in the slightest.