In case anyone’s been following my posts, about this, I was given a 6 month course of therapy to deal with depression and anxiety. It seemed a bit pointless to me since my depression and anxiety are caused by poverty, which therapy won’t fix, but if I refused the sessions it would adversely affect my benefit appeal. The therapy was shit, the therapist was shit, and today was my final session, and I’m so relieved it’s finally over.

Here are some of the highlights of my sessions with her:

Said she can’t give me the good treatments like EDMR, because I’m still living in the bad situation that is causing my problems, and these kinds of therapies are for after the problem has ended, to help you get over it. So she can’t do anything for me other than meditation and drawing pictures.

When I spoke about traumatising things that have ended that I’d like EDMR for, such as a time I was violently assaulted, she instead tried to get my to sympathise with my attackers, and imagine what problems they have in their lives that drove them to assault a random stranger, and feel sorry for them.

Shamed and disparaged me for asking for food vouchers on here, even though she knows I have no money whatsoever.

Basically told me that me killing myself is a good idea - she said, given my issues and the fact that they can’t be solved, it seems a reasonable plan that I would aim to commit suicide one day. She said she’s done all she can for me and there’s no point putting me forward for further therapy. I mean, I do agree suicide is the eventual answer for me but it seems a bit unprofessional for a therapist to agree.

She thinks it’s no big deal that I could be homeless soon, she said she’ll just give me the number of a homeless shelter. She doesn’t seem at all concerned about my financial situation and even said she might tell the DWP I have missed some of her sessions, even though she knows this puts me at bigger risk of losing my appeal. I wonder if this might be retaliation for the fact I’ve missed some sessions with her - maybe she doesn’t get paid for those sessions so she wants to punish me?

The “therapy” has consisted of nothing but meditation, drawing pictures and her writing timetables for me to stick to. Then she gets angry with me that this isn’t making any difference to my life.

Told me off during a meditation that involved body movements, because my left side wasn’t moving as much as the right. Even though she knows my left side is affected by the fact I’ve had a stroke.

Puts me in the most bleach and perfume smelling room even though I’ve told her it triggers my migraines.

Has often turned up late and dismissed me early so the sessions only last 3/4 of the time they’re meant to.

I’m sure there’s been other stuff too that I can’t remember now. Anyway I’m glad I don’t have to see her any more but I’m worried about her telling the DWP I’ve missed some sessions, they might use it against me at my appeal.