Weird enough for me, everyone around me knew/heavily suspected that I was autistic, would tease/mock my traits and proceed to flip out when I react. Only found out after I reached out with the suspicion that I might be autistic.
At least now I’m surrounded with more (seemingly) understanding people, even though I haven’t told them.
I’ve also been given the “I’ve always suspected” thing (not diagnosed) from certain people, family to be specific. And while, fair enough, so have I; when I start thinking about certain treatment and button pushing that I’ve gone through, and the fact that no one ever bothered to get me professionally assessed growing up so that maybe I could’ve had a better quality life; it makes my mind start going to dark places. And I don’t like it because maybe it’s all in my head.
Edit: although to be fair, I do believe that I have become quite unintentionally good at putting a mask on throughout the years. And maybe it’s only really starting to show now that I’m older and still the way I am.
Your experience resonates with me, and I hope you do manage to find your inner peace, however that may be in your journey through life.
Also, thank goodness that it’s becoming somewhat more accessible to get assessed in adulthood. Even if we’ve already missed the train on our formative developmental years, I’m still hopeful that I can at least learn what I need to get my life back together as soon as I can afford to see someone about it.
My main fear was that they all knew 😖
“No, we definitely know”
We do and we are glad you are here <3
I have a friend who, imo, is definitely on the spectrum, but I don’t think she knows it. I’m certainly never going to bring it up, to me it’s kinda like the egg prime directive
Ahh, I would have been much more accepting of myself if I realized I was just autistic instead of secretly, mysteriously “bad.” People reacted poorly to me just being me, so I thought they recognized that I was a bad person, even though I didn’t know what made me bad. I also had emotional reactions that didn’t make sense and I thought I was just a huge asshole for getting upset (and trying not to show any sign of it) at things that wouldn’t upset others. I don’t think it’s the same situation as eggs at all, given that, ideally, autistic people would be diagnosed as children and raised with knowledge of how to manage living in a world that’s not made for them.
Especially for AFAB autistic people, we’re often socialized to try to mask, regardless of our own internal state. I don’t think you should diagnose her or bring it up casually in a group, but I would have really appreciated someone telling me they thought it was a possibility.
We can all tell by your silliness :3
IME, they know something is up, but they don’t know what exactly so you just come across E N I G M A T I C
