I decided I would be willing to date a non-vegan since despite the conveniences and shared ethics of other vegans, it can be hard to find them in general, and maybe I could influence people positively, though probably without any expectation for them to go vegan (but still hoping society will move toward it one day anyway).
But online questions asking people (non-vegans) if they would date a vegan really shocked and surprised me when most of the answers were no, mostly for reasons of inconvenience and a fear of being pulled into veganism. This leaves me feeling like finding other vegans may be my only option after all. Is this somewhat accurate?
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Locking this thread for now, because there seems to be some omni-trolling happening and I’ll be heading to sleep rather than patrolling this thread. Please read the “What is Veganism?” part of the sidebar before commenting, thanks!
I (or someone else) will unlock it when all the comments have been moderated and when people stop trolling. Seriously, this is a vegan community not a plant based diet one.
Edit: Unlocked. Please don’t conflate vegan and plant based and remember that veganism is NOT a diet!
Hi, I just wanted to ask something (not specifically related to this thread actually). It seems like most people in this community are non-vegans rather than vegans. Would that be accurate?
I think on a rather small platform like Lemmy it is inevitable that non-vegans find their way into a vegan community (or “outsiders” to any community in general) by the All feed.
I think the people who are subscribed are vegan, but it takes one omni to start a huge comment thread and then the post gets more visible and they all turn up here to commit some veganbashing
The key is acceptance. I’m willing to accept my partner if they are vegan, can the accept me as a non vegetarian?
Yes, I can accept it :)
The problem is that vegans (not all) see it as morally wrong so it would be like asking if they can accept that you like eating dogs (like some cultures do) and I can see plenty of people who would not accept or respect the practice of eating dogs.
Is being vegan a moral thing? Most that I’ve heard say yes.
This means that regardless of outward harassing them about it, your mindset is one in which they are doing something immoral and do not care to change it. It is inseparable: the position that it is morally correct to be vegan is inseparable from the corollary that those who are not are less moral.
Knowing that your romantic partner judges you as a bad person does not really make for a positive relationship, I would say. I doubt I would be willing to date someone who holds that position.
I grew up with a sister who is vegan and I would definitely think twice before dating one. I’ve come to believe that shared meals are a huge part of human culture and if I can’t eat with my partner without there being some kind of tension about it I don’t see how it could work out.
I don’t think that tension is a necessary component of a vegan and nonvegan eating together, at all. I’m sorry if you had a bad experience but that’s not inherently the case, in my experience eating with nonvegans.
My wife is vegetarian and I am not. It’s not really an issue. Vegan would be quite a bit more difficult to accommodate as I’d have to cut out dairy and honey from meals I cook which both make regular appearances in dishes. Still, as long as you’re not annoying about it and are also understanding about the fact that many potential partners won’t know how to cook for you I don’t see why it would be a deal breaker.
Side note while we’re on the subject, what’s with the restriction on honey? The rest of it I understand the reasoning behind but honey seems like a harmless thing to me.
Well primarily vegans don’t eat honey because it’s a form of exploitation of animals (bees). This can carry ethical as well as environmental issues.
This goes into some of the reasons why vegans typically avoid honey:
https://www.careelite.de/en/why-vegans-dont-eat-honey/
TL;DR:
▪︎ Bees make the honey for themselves ▪︎ Honey production is exhausting ▪︎ We manipulate the animals for the honey ▪︎ Honey bees are exploited in mass breeding ▪︎ Bees are injured and die ▪︎ Honey is not particularly healthy ▪︎ There are plant-based alternatives ▪︎ Wild bees are important for biodiversity ▪︎ Bees are living beings and not commodities ▪︎ Wild bees are essential for the survival of us humans
And here is the Vegan Society’s page on honey:
https://www.vegansociety.com/go-vegan/why-go-vegan/honey-industry
Hope that helped :)
And right there is why they’re gonna run into issues dating non-vegans. It’s a lifestyle for them. It’s not just a meal choice. It extends to things like products bought, activities done, etc. and when you “hope” someone will change, that’s a big red flag in a relationship.
Honey is a food lol
