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Change the start menu search so instead of finding local applications and files, it searches the internet.
Would be even funnier if it used the worst search engine available.
Oh wait…that’s legit one of the worst parts about windows
I hate that so much.
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I had a friend who sent me a “Y2K fix” program back in '99. Said it would patch the error so I’d be safe. When I ran it, it swapped the letters Y and K on my keyboard.
That’s hilarious
Well, I don’t thiny that’s verk funnk at all!
Simple, every now and again switch a key input with a neighboring key. Imagine slowly losing your confidence in your motor skills as you just can’t seem to type properly no matter how careful you are.
It would do it like once every 10-1000 minutes, you will never catch it and slowly lose your grip on reality.
Excuse me sir, they said “harmless”
I swapped the N and M keys on a co-worker’s keyboard and even made a custom keyboard mapping for it as well.
That’s nasty
The version I recall was once if those Flash animations with a cute squirrel or whatever saying something… but it was really quiet so you’d need to turn up the volume to hear. Then partway through it changed to sex stuff and blasted out in a voice like a monster truck announcer
“anal sex dot com, all anal, all the time!”
I shall write a virus that makes the computer play the “USB device detached” sound followed shortly by the “USB device attached” sound. Dee doo. Doo dee. Just that. three or four times a week.
You are the worst so far
Diabolical, isn’t it?
Calm down there, Satan.
Alt+Tab goes to a random window instead of being in the order of recency
At first it all seems normal, every now and then a random sound effect is replaced by ominous hooting. Every hour, on the hour, a green owl flashes on the screen for a frame or two, it’s eyes boring into you before vanishing. Once every 50 or so times it pumps your volume up, selects speakers as output and let’s loose a screeching hoot. Random popups slowly ramping up “Restart your streak today”, “Where did you go?”, “Duo misses you”. At first just once or twice a day, but steadily increasing in intensity till it’s one every 23 seconds.
It said “harmless”…
On somethingawful back in the day if you were on any one page on their forums for more then about 20 minutes, a audio clip would play that said something like “HEY EVERYBODY I’M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO”
I knew a guy who had a shitty boss so he set every key press and program function click (ok, cancel, etc.) to play that sound.
i remember one from GNAA (racist edge lords) that did that… it also spawned endless moving windows that were impossible to close so you had to hard power off the computer… also it maxed out the volume….
it was just javascript though
A virus that changes the font every time you go to a new page or hit refresh
Id actually enjoy that for a lot of things outside of books. And in books it is only a problem because some use font to point different povs or what not. Currently reading “the book of elsewhere” and I know this isnt the first by a longshot.
I’ll call it Windows 11.
On my dads computer, back in the day, I set the sound for every action in Windows to a silly song i downloaded off kazaa (Windows xp days, i believe)
So this was the sound that played for clicking the start menu, hovering over programs/apps, whatever it was and making that menu appear, and any sub menu for individual games or apps following that. Any kind of prompt like errors or “are you sures” etc, minimising/maximising a window. Everything!
That’s what my virus would do. I just need the perfect sound to apply. Maybe that annoying tiktok song “Oh no! Oh no! Oh no no no no no!”
Occasional mouse and keyboard lag up to 1 second.
Okay can I piss and moan about something tangentially related to this?
I’ve noticed that most video players, browser embeds, Youtube, VLC, whatever, have a run-on. You click pause, and the video keeps going for probably half a second, so if you’re trying to capture a specific frame, fuck your sack.
In VLC you can hit E for Next Frame. I think its full stop on YouTube.
I’m wondering if that’s something hardware decoder related (like it goes fuck it, I’ve decoded it, you’re watching it), because I can’t say I’ve noticed that on even the shittiest websites, at least on my PC.
albanian virus.
Much better than A Serbian Virus.
When I was in high school I made a .bat file that autoran when you put it in a device. All it would do is open the disc drive every 90 seconds however it did convince one teacher that she had a virus which caused giggles all around.
I remember something like this being passed around as a “free coffee cup holder” - and when you ran it, all it would do was open your cd rom tray.
Whenever someone forgot to log out the terminal at university, we “fixed” their “.login” file by adding a command that listed all files, followed by a " … deleted", and logging the user out again. One could easily see that the deletion was just fake, because the next time one logged in, all those files were listed again…
That reminds me of how anyone could feel like a 1337 hacker if they run the tree command lol
find . -exec echo “{} … deleted” \;
logout
There’s a 1 in 50 chance that any copy text command cuts the text instead, and vice-versa.
