I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.
In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.
Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.
I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.
My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.
(TimewornTraveler is also not in the best state of mind right now. Read between the lines on what they’re saying. Why would they be so upset about suicidal ideation triggers right now?)
I actually work with people who are struggling with SI and encounter these sudden and blatant disclosures from time to time. It is a desperate plea for attention (and rightfully so, OP feels they need it) but it takes no consideration at how others might be impacted by it. For every supportive commenter that you read here and see downvoting me, how many do you think turned away after reading the title and had their own day fucked up? You’re not going to see that in the comments, but it’s in the world right now.