I have my own struggles with BPD and depression, and I know how hard it can be to meet others’ expectations, especially when those expectations are not perfectly clear. Some days it’s all I can do to get out of bed. I imagine it’s just as hard for people with Autism to meet expectations of people who give ambiguous instructions, or are inconsistent with messaging. I’m guilty of communicating my needs poorly, and I understand that some of this frustration is my fault. But I am fucking tired of Autistic people ignoring what I say, interrupting me, asking me to repeat myself, cutting me off, throwing away my suggestions, and just generally being selfish in conversation. They’re so demanding. I have two colleagues that I work with regularly that are on the spectrum and they’re both a nightmare, I dread seeing them. I’d rather not work with Autistic people at all.
Ableism is a fake concept that’s used to justify shitty behavior.
This is a safe space to vent, but you’re making sweeping statements about an entire group of people. Perhaps you want to modify your post to be more specific about the two people that annoy you, rather than making broad, bigoted statements about all Autistic people.
I’d rather not work with Autistic people at all
You are welcome to feel that way, and the rest of us are welcome to shun you for such bigoted generalizations.
Disentangle the concepts of your personal relationships with autistic people that you work with that may or may not be assholes (I will take your word for it for the purposes of this discussion) from the concept of ALL autistic people or the rest of us will resist with force if necessary. The ideology you are espousing directly empowers violence and discrimination against autistic people.
This not a joke, bigotry against autistic people in my country is increasing rapidly and it is scary, I will defend my autistic community members without a care in the world for your fragile stereotypes you badly extended from anecdotal experience to talking about a wide swath of humanity.
Your work colleagues suck and you are a bad fit for them, move on, don’t become a bigot just because you had a bad experience with a handful of people from an entire category of hundreds of millions of human beings…
You wasted your time committing these vile thoughts to words, your heart only meant them in the outburst of the moment to be empty expressions of frustration yelled at an empty field where you could get your childish immature hate out and let it whisk away into the air before it got it’s talons in you and convinced you to harbor prejudice against others… and you failed at that responsibility the vast intelligence and empathetic capability of the human brain conveys to you. Do better.
I understand being upset by someone’s words, but your credibility is on the line here.
- I never encouraged violence of any kind.
- I complained about the behavior of two people, not all autistic people.
- You accused me of bigotry, which would require me to have generalized all autistic people, which I did not.
Again, you’re welcome to your frustration, but let’s not sink to making baseless accusations. My original post wasn’t edited, so the proof is right there. Please be respectful to me, and please be respectful to yourself by not destroying your credibility publicly. Have a good day.
You accused me of bigotry, which would require me to have generalized all autistic people, which I did not.
That is what you did
I understand being upset by someone’s words, but your credibility is on the line here.
I complained about the behavior of two people, not all autistic people. You accused me of bigotry, which would require me to have generalized all autistic people, which I did not.
I’m not who you responded to, but your thread title, without the additional context of a single line at the end of your post, reads exactly like generalizing your dislike of all autistic people:
“Autistic people are selfish and I’m frustrated every time I work with them”
Further, your entire rant is generalized to all autistic people until the second to last line of your post:
I have two colleagues that I work with regularly that are on the spectrum and they’re both a nightmare, I dread seeing them.
So your framing immediately suggests your generalized bigotry and you shouldn’t be surprised that that is the message your audience comes away with that.
Please be respectful to me, and please be respectful to yourself by not destroying your credibility publicly. Have a good day.
Do you not see the irony here of asking for being treated respectfully despite your failings in framing your post, when you’re having difficulty expressing your position without it coming off as inflammatory? So many of your complaints are near the same failings as you have in your post as attributed to autistic people I’m not entirely convinced your post isn’t some sort of meta-trolling to try to frame the difficulties autistic people experience. While I am not autistic myself, one opinion I’ve heard from some that are is they sometimes have difficulty working with other autistic people. I don’t mean to be insulting, but have you considered that for yourself?
Thanks for your response, but I’m not empowering anyone to be violent. I’m expressing frustration. These are not the same, and frankly I can’t believe you’d accuse me of it. Have a good day.
Read your words again, see the ways in which you are closing yourself off to a whole category of people.
Flailing out at mean as you succumb to simple attraction of stereotypes won’t do anything for the health of your soul.
I was careful with my words, and I meant them. I’m sorry you were offended. “Off my chest” may not be a healthy environment for you if it makes you this angry. Best of luck to you.
I understand that you have a right to vent and be upset at people, but that doesn’t mean that it is suddenly okay to perpetuate ableist stereotypes.
“Off my chest” may not be a healthy environment for you if it makes you this angry.
Look I’m trying to be understanding here but this community actually does have a rule against ableism. So we absolutely are not expected to tolerate ableism even if you’re just venting.
Autistic person here. This hurts.
But I am fucking tired of Autistic people ignoring what I say, interrupting me, asking me to repeat myself, cutting me off, throwing away my suggestions, and just generally being selfish in conversation.
I’m trying my best to read your social cues, but I fuck up reading them every once in a while. Please be patient. Please let us know when we fuck up, even if you have to be rude just please tell us.
asking me to repeat myself
They might have sensory processing disorder, which can make it difficult to process your words. Or, they might just be hard of hearing. Again, please be patient with us.
They’re so demanding.
I have put in so many years of therapy, spent so much time trying to figure out how to read people and be a part of your world, and I will continue to do so for as long as I breathe. But accommodation is a two-way street. Please do your part.
I have two colleagues that I work with regularly that are on the spectrum and they’re both a nightmare, I dread seeing them. I’d rather not work with Autistic people at all.
Please don’t judge all autistic people on the two assholes you work with.
ok. thanks for responding.
And please understand it’s not you that I’m frustrated with. It’s two people with common behaviors and diagnoses. That doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. Have a good day.
And please understand it’s not you that I’m frustrated with.
Understood but…your post title is (as of writing this comment) is “Autistic people are selfish and I’m frustrated every time I work with them”. So right off the bat, it seems like you’re about to talk about autistic people as a group. Then in the body of your post, you said nothing to suggest that you weren’t talking about autistic people in general. Sure you talked about your two autistic colleagues, but you said nothing to suggest that these two autistic colleagues are not representative of autistic people overall.
So I think we’re absolutely justified to stand up for ourselves here.
And again, I’m trying to be patient here, but only because I have the energy to be patient today and give you the benefit of the doubt. So you need to be understanding if some of us are less patient with you when we are defending ourselves, even though you didn’t mean to attack us (I hope), because we have no way of telling whether you’re actually just venting or if you’re a bigot using “venting” as entryism.
