You can’t get yourself sterilised in case some future man wants to use your baby factory.
Chilling.
This happened to me in the USA. I told the doctor I want to be sterilized and neither my husband nor I wanted kids.
He told me it would be unethical. My husband might die and then my new husband would want children. I told him I would not change my mind, and such a man would be incompatible for marriage with me. He told me I’d change my mind. So basically, yes some hypothetical future man would want to use me for a baby factory, that’s why I can’t be sterilized.
I was 30. I’m older now, still don’t want them. I’m too ashamed to ask again for sterilization. My husband has a vasectomy scheduled soon (weird how a doctor had no problem doing that for him. Wonder what the difference is???)
Get that OB/GYN’s statement in writing and then report him.
I think the doctor thinks of your husband as a baby factory manager and as he wants the baby factory out of operation it is his choice. Now if he died a new manager could start up the factory again. I know this is extremely fucked up and there is no reason you should not be able to get sterilised but it is a fucked up world we live in.
OP, the title of this post is a phrase that doesn’t appear in the article. Could you update it to the article’s actual title?
‘I felt like a freak because I didn’t want children’
Updated. It pulled it from the webpage title
The ‘you might change your mind’ attitude is the one that frustrates me the most. People make decisions they regret all the time and we don’t prevent every little regrettable thing from happening. Let these people make the decision for themselves and if they regret it you can say “I told you so” and you can continue being the jerk you are.
My mom knows that I absolutely do not want kids. Like, the idea of being a parent makes me feel physically ill. She is still hoping that she’ll get grandchildren. Last time she told me she’s still hopeful that I’ll change my mind, I got rude and told her to fuck off with that shit. I told her that she needs to keep that kind of thing to herself and that telling me that repeatedly feels very disrespectful.
That was about 6 months ago. She hasn’t brought it up since. This branch of the family tree ends with me and that’s totally fine imo. Everything has to end eventually. My mom’s in total denial about that fact.
It’s so much easier as a man to be child free, aside from women hitting on me telling me what a great dad I’d be.
Yeah, maybe I would be. Don’t want it.
Have never pursued sterilization though, might’ve gotten a small amount of the judgment women get then. Maybe.
I got a vasectomy when I was 31 and have never looked back. Would highly recommend it if you’re committed to being child free. Was a simple discussion with my (male) GP and after a few questions to make sure I understood the implications and that I had thought it through he gave me the referral.
I really feel bad for women - they have so much more stigma and a harder time with this in general, even in progressive countries.
I’ll chime in too. My vasectomy was really straightforward. I didn’t need a referral, I directly scheduled a urologist appointment through my health network. One appointment to ask questions, he just made sure I should treat this as permanent and asked about my reasoning. I said I had thought it through and my brother had just had a kid and that was enough. Next appointment was the surgery and just an “are you sure?”
It’s been about a year and I feel so great now.
When I got sterilized, the doctor asked me if I was in a committed relationship. Told him I was. Then he said that I need to treat this as permanent. Told him it wasn’t a problem. He pushed a little more but inevitable told him that if things changed and I ended up with a woman who wanted children, adoption was an option. That ended it for me, and I was able to get the procedure done. I don’t know if this is typical for men, but that was my experience.
