So, I’m just assuming we’ve all seen the discussions about the bear.
Personally I feel that this is an opportunity for everyone to stop and think a little about it. The knee-jerk reaction from many men seems to be something along the lines of “You would choose a dangerous animal over me? That makes me feel bad about myself.” which results in endless comments of the “Akchully… according to Bayes theorem you are much more likely to…” kind.
It should be clear by now that it doesn’t lead to good places.
Maybe, and I’m open to being wrong, but maybe the real message is women saying: “We are scared of unknown men.”
Then, if that is the message intended, what do we do next? Maybe the best thing is just to listen. To ask questions. What have you experienced to make you feel that way?
I firmly believe that the empathy we give lays a foundation for other people being willing to have empathy for the things we try to communicate.
It doesn’t mean we should feel bad about ourselves, but just to recognize that someone is trying to say something, and it’s not a technical discussion about bears.
What do you think?

  • kat_angstrom@lemmy.world
    0·
    7 months ago

    So am I not allowed to have feelings of sadness because I am personally painted with the same brush as people who make the world a worse place, and their actions lead me to be judged by the bar they set?

    • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network
      0·
      7 months ago

      You can feel sad. I’m also unhappy about how I’m often viewed as a threat.

      But it’s not personal. They’re not looking at me, jjj, and saying I specifically scare them.

      Maybe you meant something else by “take it personally”?

      Like there’s a difference between not being allowed into the bar because it’s full and because you got drunk and smashed a chair last time. The second is personal.

    • funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works
      0·
      7 months ago

      depends - as a related question - do you feel sad about locking your door because thieves exist and people didn’t lock their doors until about 80-90 years ago?

      would you and do you leave your door unlocked as a sign of solidarity with the victims of theft?

      like with the original question I’m not literally asking you - I’m saying there are accepted norms in society that change.

      I dont think this question really explores a lot of global or historical context either. Do women in the 1890s in Africa feel safe alone with men? What about women in 1620s France? 1200 Roman empire? 200 BC Jordan?

      • kat_angstrom@lemmy.world
        0·
        7 months ago

        It does make me feel sad that I need to lock my doors. I wish we lived in a world with more empathy and compassion, where all people could live with unlocked doors, or wander around at night without fear.

        The historical context is fascinating, because it really shows how far we’ve come. We’ve still got a long way to go; but we really have made great strides. Here’s to a world where bears aren’t the preferred option, maybe in a century.or two we can get there. :)