Imagine being such a persecuted group in America that you get to blast spam mail to everyone in your community in the name of religion with no repercussions.
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Dear Yvonne,
Thank you for writing me and sharing what you claim to be valuable information, but I am not finding it all that valuable considering it’s a single line from your Bible telling me that an omniscient being can hear me. And I should think so too.
To answer your first question, I do not think any god listens to my prayers because I do not pray. Your second question makes no grammatical sense. I’m sorry, but I can’t answer it. Perhaps you should see if your god will grant you a better command of the English language.
I won’t be contacting you for your free Bible study, because I have never heard of Bible study that charges you money… So this kind of feels like a scam. Are you selling timeshares?
Sincerely,
Flying Squid
I was expecting something about my cars extended warranty at the bottom.
Respond back that you prayed to win the lottery and you actually did. Watch the mental gymnastics in full force after that.
Respond that Allah is generally more giving and watch the face contort.
Then sell your system as a class at $1k/ticket, and before you know it you’re the next big prosperity gospel leader
I’m not really following. It’s annoying/amusing, but I get junk mail every day. How is this any different? Just roll your eyes and toss it.
I get these too. It is best to ignore them because if you tell them you are anything but a Jehovah’s Witness, they will hit you stronger with letters. Return to sender will reenforce their desire to send you more too.
I know some people say to tell them some secret words about people getting kicked out of the Jehovah’s, but I find it hard to be mean to them. They are being coerced and guilted into it.
It’s so absurd. If you read these without knowing anything about a “bible” or a “John” it’s just rambling with an old timey accent.
You should offer her a free punctuation class in return.
Woah, I’ve received two very similar letters as well. They came from a state that’s really far away so I’m not sure how they even got my name and address. Super concerning but also laughable that this was seen as a way to convert people….
A tree died for this.
Seriously, religion is a mental illness.
There’s a dude where I live that stands on a street corner reading the Bible out loud to nobody.
These people need therapy and medication.
Call “Yvonne” with your number withheld, and tell her that you don’t want to receive anymore of those flyers. If she asks for your address, tell her to pray for an answer and hang up.
I’d still rather receive this than the 6 credit card offers I have to shred every week.
Plus another dozen credit card offers for previous tenants.
Fuck off Yvonne
Awww, she’s blissed out. So cute. I wish they were all as harmless as her.
That’s a good point. It definitely can be worse.
“Pray and, if it’s something god already wanted to happen, god will grant your prayers!”
Imagine being so petty you post this online. Just throw it out if you’re that pathetic and can’t handle others differences
Spam apologists are neat. It’s like they’re so new to the Internet they don’t know that a “it’s just one message calm down” attitude is how we got here.
Yvonne, that you?
(are you really going to sit there and insist we respect Yvonne’s faith/viewpoint while she is disrespecting ours by trying to proselytize in the laziest manner possible?)
Imagine defending a cult that protects child predators, will let its babies die before giving them a life-saving medical procedure, and drives members who quit to suicide by forcing everyone they ever knew to shun them.
I had never seen this happen before. Relax.
