As GA was just breaking things, I was staring at the rather bare bones Bad Gateway error page and thought: we really need custom error pages. My favourite example is IMDb that uses movie quotes, but there are many others, and we could definitely make ours distinctly British. So I am opening the floor to suggestions - perhaps a slice of UK life (“popped down the shop for more beans”, we may be able to get a maintenance page in, so something like road works) or some Carry On sauce (“Oo missus, the server has gone down on you, no extra charge”) or Pythonesque or… something else. People won’t see them often but it should, hopefully, get a smile when it does all go tits up (which sounds like something we could use).
Common errors:
- 400 - Bad Request
- 401 - Unauthorised
- 403 - Forbidden
- 404 - Not Found
- 500 - Internal Server Error
- 502 - Bad Gateway
Or if.you have a good idea for a rare one, or you have a personal favourite error code that’s not being catered for, then ask and we can add it to the list.
I’m not sure where to implement it, but something featuring Kryten.
“Go to alert!” “Are you absolutely sure, sir? It does mean changing the bulb!”
Or failing that, maybe an error that is contained in a quoted Space Core Directive?
418 Put the kettle on
418 Pop the kettle on - surely?
400 - “We apologize again for the fault in the subtitles. Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.”
403 - “We are the Knights Who Say… Ni!”
404 - “This parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. It’s expired and gone to meet its maker. This is a late parrot. It’s stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It’s rung down the curtain and joined the choir, invisible. This is an ex-parrot.”
Don’t leave out 451 unavailable for legal reasons
Probably something out of the ending of the Argument sketch where the fuzz arrives
My my, here come the fuzz.
One would hope there’s never a need to restrict any content here for legal reasons, though.
Though I hope to not see them, I think it’s a great idea.
Perhaps a selection of British TV or comedy characters could do the job - bouncers and policemen, detectives etc should cover the various bad/forbidden/unauthorised/not found etc.
Perhaps a Basil Fawlty attacking a bad gateway with a tree branch?
403 - Can’t park here, mate.
I would suggest also adding a process for upgrades, a switch that shows that the downtime is expected rather than relying on the error messages. Custom error messages is still a good idea though.
404 - “Mebbe try looking down the back of the sofa, mate, ‘cos I can’t find what you’re looking for here.”
The Catalogue of UK Entrances to Hell screams “Bad Gateway”.
Or an entrance to Hell was found at Creswell Crags.
This feels like a British spinoff of the SCP foundation.
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403 - “If your name’s not on the list, you’re not getting in. Now do one.”
No reason we can’t thrown in a tune. Or Hale and Pace.
Ah, Da Management! Had a quick look for a clip of my favourite gag of theirs but couldn’t find it. It went something like this:
“Ron, they’re babbling.”
“I don’t like babbling.”
“No, I don’t like babbling either.”
“I don’t like any 'anging gardens.”Do you know, to this day I still don’t know which is Hale and which is Pace.
I’m trying to work out some kind of “Are You Being Served? No you’re bloody not! Something, something, Mrs. Slocombe’s pussy!” for 500 but haven’t got anything quite bang on yet.
Two Ronnies? Or would that be too obscure for some of the Young Ones? (Yes, that’s a 2nd ref)
How about something like a Four Candles / Fork Handles for 403 / 404? … 400 / 500 could be looking for O’s…
