I did all the things. Transitioned. Quit opioids and cigarettes. Went back to school. Got discriminated against and persevered. Quit my last job because of anti LGBT policy and got my dream job.
Oh, and I did all that since 2020.
And it’s a nightmare. I’m isolated. No support, and I found out today my coworkers hate me and think I’m trash.
I don’t know what to do. Go back to school? It’s just going to be more of the same. In the last five years, I achieved more than I ever thought I could. And I’ve never been more alone or miserable than I am right now.
I’m tired of living in a world that doesn’t want me, that I’ll never be good enough for. My parents were right, I’m never going to be good enough.
So what’s the point?
There’s no inherent point for the individual beyond having a good time. Worrying about what you deserve isn’t a helpful approach. It’s rare that people get what they deserve in any sense, as there is no such thing as value beyond what we assign. You, like all people, deserve to thrive and live without unnecessary suffering. However, what you deserve isn’t what you have.
It sounds like you would benefit most from spending time with other people. Humans are psychologically programed to need eachother, which is inconvenient in some respects. Relationships risk emotional harm, yet we are miserable without them. However, the greatest joys often come from the time we spend with others.
Socializing is like food and water for us. It’s a basic need. Like so many other needs, modern society sucks at delivering that need to everyone. Thanks to economic and political incentives, people don’t have what they need. Knowing the context doesn’t necessarily make it easier to find community, but it reminds us to not blame ourselves. Survival is a struggle, but it could totally be easier.