@subtext Something I’ve used in a handful of campaigns. is the “Deck of Many Answers”.
It appears as a deck of blank faced tarot sized cards. If discarded, the card vanishes and returns to the deck.
If a player asks a question before drawing a card, the card contains a hand drawn sketch attempting to illustrate the answer to the inquiry, but never with text or numbers. However, the deck is not omniscient and it’s answers getting increasingly symbolic and open to interpretation the more abstract or game breaking; the players inquire.
Usually found by players, with no instructions.
Figuring out the shtick usually provides a lot fun, and they end up being MILDLY useful should players get the hang of them.
An idol that periodically tells the current time of the day in a loud and clear voice. But only at night (or when the party likes to sneak).
I gotta say, that’s a pretty good useless item
One of my players really enjoys his Cloak of Billowing
Boots of blinding speed.
Reference, in case you’re not an old.
Something with a very niche useage like a Wand of Ring Detection; starts with 4 charges and regains 1d4 charges at dawn, expend a charge to become aware of any and all rings within 30ft.
Would usually be useless, until the one time you can use it to recover a lost/stolen ring or become aware of someone hiding their powerful magic item!
Or when they start using it at random and become aware of random little trivia of NPCs around them!Also, chain mail would be obnoxious to someone using the wand!
And its counterpart, the ring of wand detection.
Ring of magic detection
As an action, you may use this ring to discover the location of the nearest magic item.
spoiler
The nearest magic item is always the ring itself.
Glasses of Magic Sight While looking through the glasses, a faint aura appears in the presence of magic within 30 feet, akin to the Detect Magic spell (no action required). You also have disadvantage on Perseption checks and Investigation checks while looking through the glasses as the magical aura of the Glasses of Magic Sight obscure your vision.
@subtext What degree and kind of silliness are you looking for? Merely not useful to adventurers, embarrassing in some way, implausible that they’d even exist…?
I like things that players would have fun with, but aren’t “useful” in the sense that it becomes a utility item they’re using every game. Something that can be a joke!
Not against items that have use either
@subtext
Rod of Tattoos: As an attack, you can point this rod at someone within 30’ and imagine a still image on an exposed patch of that person’s skin. This will cause the desired image to appear on the person’s skin for 1 minute.If you maintain concentration on the effect for the full minute, without the rod leaving your grasp and without you or the subject leaving range of each other, the image becomes permanent, unless removed by Remove Curse.
The rod functions up to three times per day.
Bagawogs.
Squirrel sized, slimy creatures that infest pocket dimensions like bags of holding. They eat rations stored in them and occasionally weird you out by leaving a mucusey trail across your hand as you’re digging around.
Earrings of No’Kyah: allows wearers to communicate by touching the earring while talking across any distance. Are also indestructible.
Boots of Courage: Provide +3 to initiative rolls, but have a 15% chance of tripping the wearer and leaving them probe each round they are retreating.
Book of secrets. When opened, the book displays a secret whispered in the last minute, at least 50 miles away, somewhere on this plane.
Cook Pot of Concealment. Any edible item in the pot is invisible to a creature that could eat it until removed.
Ring of invisibility. Doesn’t grant the wearer invisibility, it’s just invisible. If encountered in a shop the shopkeeper will be unable to find where they left it.
The vibrator of slicing.
This is a knife with two saw-like blades that move back and forth, allowing enhanced slicing of cooked or raw meats.
It gives advantage on all intimidate checks, with a +2 if wearing fishnets and/or high heels
Ring of attunement: allows one additional item to be attuned for the player (requires attunement)
This is actually really strong for a max level artificer as they get a +1 to all saves for each attunement
I wouldn’t say “really strong”, but +1 on saves due to a lil’ trick is neat!
Depends on how many rings of attunement you’re wearing. 5e doesn’t limit how many rings you can equip beyond physically getting them on your body and attuning to them, so how about a +10 (+20 if you include toe rings)?
