First, 100% a red flag. Even if they wanted to give some sort of “I trust you with my life” sort of video, there’s a bunch of better ways to do it. Going for a racist rant makes me think that they’re a racist.
Secondly, this is deeply submissive - they’re giving you the power to ruin their life. If you want to do that sort of stuff as a couple you should really talk about it first and be on board with receiving that sort of power and responsibility. Entirely possible+reasonable for the receiver to find this shitty because they don’t want to make a choice like this, especially if these are truly held beliefs.
The healthy response to this is to send them to a therapist. And definitely dump them if they’re actually racist.
I don’t see how someone could do a racist rant and not be racist. That it is a rant is an important word here.
Wait for another hack on a cloud service then put it online and claim ignorance.
ITT: Everyone taking a shitpost from reddit posted to [email protected] seriously
Also: both romantic and a red flag
Nah, if it was real they’re either fucked in the head about romance or feeling them out with deniability. Just a red flag in superposition between different warnings.
Plus you’ll note there isn’t anything in there about not believing what she said. Just the nonsense about trust.
The question that leaps to my mind is why would that idea have occurred to her in the first place?
Sounds like she is making a “joke” in poor taste while also fishing for your take on the things she is joking about.
or perhaps it’s something sexual. Power imbalance Idk.
Relationships are no jokes. Neither is racism. Depending on how I feel about her, the video might leak. I would certainly not stay.
Big red flag to me.
Damn, remind me not to partner with you in a trust fall.
Like this has “here is a staged video of me as a proof/test of trust” and not “here is actual proof I’m a racist” because there would have been OTHER proof, racists aren’t that sneaky.
Your first reaction is “finally I have a chance to ruin this girl I love’s life and go FULL SCORCHED EARTH”
Fuck man, you’ve got to dial up your chill at least a skosh!
the video might leak.
That’s a little much. Such poor taste she deserves a criminal record?
Leaving works though for sure. Can do the favor of explaining why too.
A red flag.
Sharing dangerous ideas with somebody to show that you think they are safe is an honest signal of trust, but only if the dangerous ideas are genuine.
Someone who attempts to buy trust disingenuously is not to be trusted.
Someone who thinks in terms of kompromat and manipulation is dangerous to be around.
She is treating the relationship and trust as transactional. No bueno.
Obligatory “this some young people shit”.
Young people do and say stupid shit to come off as edgy and the vast majority of them don’t actually mean it and regret it later in life.
As to your question, that’s why you date people, to see if they’re good, for you and otherwise. You don’t go “red flag!” -> napalm!!!, you evaluate contexts and repeat occurrences of perceived wrongs.
That being said, it’s a huge red flag and you don’t need a repeat occurrence to end the relationship.
Sure, but this is also a weird miscommunication. Why do this crazy trust exercise when you can instead have honest conversations? This sounds like the relationship is going to be based on proving yourself to the other instead of genuinely getting to know them.
If I received this, I’d show them me deleting it from all my devices and ask them to never do anything like that again, because you never know what could be exposed in a breach. I’d also tell them if any of that was genuine, we would need to end the relationship.
…and then recover the deleted file.
Sounds like a red flag with a white circle and a black symbol within. But also romantic. They’re not mutually exclusive.
As some say, romance is death…
You mean the ancient far eastern peace symbol? So romantic.
Yes, but maybe rotated 45 degrees for no reason.
The Windmill of Friendship also boosts love!
RED FLAG.
No sane person does things like that.
Absolutely insane.
Just get a tattoo of their name like the rest of us.
Preferably a face tattoo
Yeah. Who would trust to give someone else video evidence that could be used to ruin their entire life? That’s crazy.
But with a cross and a white circle within 😘
This is kinda unhinged in my opinion.
But then again, I grew up before social media, maybe this is the ultimate proof of love now? I don’t know.Anyway, putting herself completely at your mercy is not a good start into a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.
Either unhinged or brain rotted from a steady diet of Tiktok videos. Or both.
Yup. I don’t want blackmail on them, and I don’t want them to have blackmail on me, because if the relationship goes south, one of us (or both!) will resort to the nuclear option.
Protect yourself and build a relationship based on respect. Trust is earned, not ransomed.
Idk, I have shit (emails and texts) that could be considered blackmail on my ex wife of 15 years (not legal but would trash her relationship with her family which for all our faults she values and depends on as much as anything in life) and I would never open that can of worms. I also have video sent to me that would cost my current girlfriend (she shared them) massive headaches and likely thousands in lawyer fees and support. I can’t imagine a scenario where I would leverage it for anything. I value that my ex and current GF know they can trust me, entirely, without consequence. Relationships are hard and things don’t always become or remain what one would like but I can’t imagine purposefully hurting someone like that. My ex wife and I can’t stand each other but theirs comfort in knowing we can trust each other. I wouldn’t go to her funeral but I’d help her bury a body and I know she feels the same.
Ya, maybe this isn’t her first time either…
I have a fleeting suspicion that this girl now thinks, because of her own action, she can do this to you now as well. OP, be careful what you share with her because ruining someones life is an option in her book…
