We were in the same class and I thought she was pretty and started chatting with her and trying to … I don’t know, you know, get to know someone well enough to start a relationship with them. However you do that – I still do not know.

I was also going through a period of severe depression and a period of severe vodka-in-the-morning alcoholism to compensate. I was not at my best. I remember every time I talked to her, and she seemed pleasant enough and friendly enough the whole time. At some point she mentioned she had a boyfriend, ok, cool; so what is the move here? completely stop talking to her? continue talking in a normal way? I attempted the latter, a few weeks later I got an official letter from the school saying she was concerned about “unwanted in-person contact and indirect contact with [me], which she deems to be harassing in nature” and I needed to sign a thing to never talk to her again.

I have a few unresolved points I can’t get over:

  • How am I supposed to continue existing knowing this occurred? I was labelled god-knows-what, I mentally carry it around like a scarlet letter. Is this the intended effect?

  • How am I supposed to enter a healthy relationship at this point? Do I still deserve love? Are you sure?

  • I am sober now, I am going to therapy, and so on, i am no longer a threat to society, etc etc

  • How can someone do something so austere, not even send a simple polite text or even a mean text before going straight to the authorities like an rat?

  • How can I not continually hate myself forever?

  • photonic_sorcerer@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    0·
    10 months ago

    So from what you’ve written here, it seems like whoever you were talking to either overreacted or was genuinely worried for her safety and went to someone at the school before trying to talk to you about how uncomfortable she felt. If what you say is true, she could’ve just confronted you about it. Teenagers often do weird shit.

    To adress your points:

    • I feel you man, I really do. It’s really difficult to let go of these things, especially when they dig their hooks so deep into your psyche. Talking about it helps, so it’s good you’re going into therapy. Perhaps your therapist can give you another perspective on that situation. That letter you received was not supposed to scar you for life.

    • Yes, you deserve love! The fact that you feel guilty about this and have thought about it so much proves how much you can care and feel.

    • Awesome, I’m proud of you, OP.

    • Teenagers do dumb shit all the time.

    • Get some hobbies, improve upon yourself, go outside, join clubs/groups/sports teams, get an education or learn a trade. The world is yours for the taking.

    Generally, if you want a relationship, you need to make sure that both parties are interested. Do this by striking up general conversation, asking about jobs, interests, hobbies, etc. and leg conversations flow naturally. Listening really is underrated.

    I hope this helps, OP!