But I cannot stay in Germany. I do not function here. I cannot do anything. Literally. So I will be going back to Ireland, in spite of having no job or housing there, in spite of getting 0 positive or just 0 any responses from jobs and housing there. So I will be homeless. I will be jobless. With my medical debt growing, since I won’t have an income to pay it, but I still don’t falter, because the worth of being able to communicate freely is one one may not fully comprehend until they’re secluded.

  • Comradesexual@lemmygrad.mlOP
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    9 months ago

    My medical records are straight up dumb because my doctors, all of whom declared themselves to be speaking English on sites where they advertise their services, don’t seem to speak it fluently enough, but refuse to ask when they don’t get something wrong, resulting in contionously absurd things being stated in my medical record referring to my medical history with events which never happened which I never stated. The outcome is I’m getting pingponged between doctors. And they never ask for clarification. I only learn once I’m no longer their patient if I get a glimpse into their notes. Maybe they’re dumb, idk, I try to blame it on a language barrier. I’m so tired of people lying about their ability to speak English. I went to doctors who don’t speak it in a communicative manner at all advertising themselves to English speaking patients. It’s so vile to make money and waste patient’s time and health this way.

    I’d rather be homeless and jobless than this.

      • Comradesexual@lemmygrad.mlOP
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        9 months ago

        I understood it enough that I understood being told to go back to my country when I heard it this Thursday, but not enough to ever respond to everyone. I can sometimes makeup the responses after the fact, but my brain is very Anti Detusch (I am aware it has a different meaning) in the moment when I need to speak. I made up my mind to definitely leave the country before this year ends. I have no friends here, the medical care is mostly non-existent and really dehumanizing, and my job is very much not worth not having anything after. The past few weeks I’d literally lie down and look at the ceiling after work, maybe cry if I was feeling fancy.

        • deathtoreddit@lemmygrad.ml
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          9 months ago

          I wonder why you migrated to Germany in the 1st place?

          In the recent past years, they seemed to be more better, western countries to find opportunities over, that are also Anglophone (nowadays, a lot of these countries are in the economic gutter)

          (Sorry if my question may seem a bit rude)

          • Comradesexual@lemmygrad.mlOP
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            9 months ago

            I stated it in another post. I’m here because I would’ve been homeless otherwise. In all honesty: This makes me see your comment as dumb, but I am used to people being ignorant about why immigrants are in the first place.

  • reaper_cushions [he/him,comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    Might just be me knot knowing Germany very well, but where do you live that people around you don’t speak English well? In any city I have ever lived in (which is only three, tbf), most people were at least conversational and international friends of mine actually complained about not being able to practise their German because everyone would always speak English with them.

  • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    9 months ago

    How awful, have you thought about how homelessness might look for you? My brother had a car he slept in, I always imagine if/when I was homeless I would sleep by a dumpster in an alley. I figured I’d be out of the way & would wake up when the businesses that used the dumpster started throwing stuff in it in the early morning.

    • Comradesexual@lemmygrad.mlOP
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      9 months ago

      I can very temporarily crash on my friend’s floor and then I’ll contact the homeless org if they can put me somewhere. I don’t have the income to ever own a car. All I know is I’m never taking up people I haven’t known for a while and met multiple times in person on housing offers. Way too much people trying to guilt the homeless into being sex slaves…

      • IzyaKatzmann [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        9 months ago

        ah what the heck? i suppose that’s true, probably something i don’t think of due to how awful it is…

        what are the homeless orgs like though? over here, it’s a bit of a mixed bag, esp for people with mental health issues. they do good work ofc, there’s only so much they can do with so little funding & so much consternation

        • Comradesexual@lemmygrad.mlOP
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          9 months ago

          I have never interacted with them apart from messaging them when I was going homeless before I ended up in Germany to avoid that, and the response I got from them was so stupid and insensitive I opted to try going to a country of which language I don’t speak and know no one in. Based on the experience of my friends who were homeless and used those services, they’re very unsafe for queer individuals. Sex abuse happens. So does violence. The people who are supposed to help ignore it or target the victim. It’s grim. But I genuinely cannot stay here.

  • NecroticEuphoria@lemmy.ml
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    9 months ago

    Healthcare sadly isn’t free in Germany. As long as you’re not a citizen, it’ll be painful all the way and depending on what you have, it’ll be painful regardless. I’m trying to get proper psychological help and progress has been slow to non existant. And the bureaucratic process is also painfully slow and awful. It’s not impossible to get through though, with maybe some help from the local social workers. Several organizations for helping queer people out too, regardless of where they come from. But regardless of your choices, I wish you the best of luck and success and get well soon.