If you’re going to write a power fantasy for the internet at least make it cool. Add some lasers or epic street fights. Add in some part where you outsmart the librul professor who hates god. “I found a job in a shitty industry and only prostitutes will fuck me” is not the flex you think it is.

What’s next? Sovereign citizen bullshit?

Judge, I’m a natural born… what was it… citizen. You cannot charge me for anything. It’s true! Just look at the charters! Those, uhm, charters. I was merely traveling through Georgia. You have to let me go right now. Believe me, I know my rights!

At press time, Wheeler announced he would instead be attending PragerU.

That last line brought the whole thing together.