I’ve posted here a lot about my mental health, I lost basically everything, I have no one I can talk to, my car is wrecked, I have less than 100 bucks in my bank account, while I have housing their are problems that make it not the best. I have 1k in debt.

In terms of my housing, I lived with some members a activist group for a bit, but they got too extreme the the point where they think me wanting to pay of my debt, save up for a car is individualist and me wanting to go college is carrierist.

Another thing is I’m an unattractive trans fem, que transphobia, I know y’all are gonna laugh like hell when I blow my brains out, some of y’all might be like THIS IS THE Consequences OF GENDER IDEOLOGY.

I just really don’t see a way forward at all, I felt like there isn’t much for me in this world anymore. Everytime I call a suicide hotline I get the dumbest most braindead advice like do an activity I enjoy as if that changes any of the material conditions of my life.

My plan is to have a dead switch, so when I do die 911 is called to help avoid any unnecessary trauma. It’s crazy to think 22 years ends like this.

  • TimewornTraveler@lemm.eeEnglish
    0·
    7 months ago

    “a sub for mental health, this sounds like the perfect place to post SI with no trigger warning. after all, I’m the only one who matters.”

    what the actual fuck is wrong with you for posting a title like this? call 988 and show some respect to this community

    • intensely_human@lemm.eeEnglish
      0·
      7 months ago

      I appreciate the opportunity to hear how OP is feeling. It is a privilege to see such darkness firsthand, and therefore to know I’m not alone.

      Hamlet contains suicidal ideation, and reading it when I was on the edge myself pulled me back.

      I’m sorry if the whole thing is activating your own escape instinct. If you want to talk to someone who’s tried, I’m willing to talk.

    • KonekoSalem@lemm.eeEnglish
      0·
      7 months ago

      It’s ok to ask for help anywhere.

      If you think this post is a problem, do you want to be angry with the user, or rather with the system that made them post here in the first place, and the system that isn’t filtering it?

    • llamapants@lemmy.worldEnglish
      0·
      7 months ago

      What the actual fuck is wrong with YOU? Obviously, this person is not in their right mind and not thinking straight. You think speaking to people like this is going to solve anything? If you have such an issue, report the post and block it from your feed instead of whatever the fuck that was. Have some compassion, Christ.

      • intensely_human@lemm.eeEnglish
        0·
        7 months ago

        (TimewornTraveler is also not in the best state of mind right now. Read between the lines on what they’re saying. Why would they be so upset about suicidal ideation triggers right now?)

        • TimewornTraveler@lemm.eeEnglish
          0·
          7 months ago

          I actually work with people who are struggling with SI and encounter these sudden and blatant disclosures from time to time. It is a desperate plea for attention (and rightfully so, OP feels they need it) but it takes no consideration at how others might be impacted by it. For every supportive commenter that you read here and see downvoting me, how many do you think turned away after reading the title and had their own day fucked up? You’re not going to see that in the comments, but it’s in the world right now.