• finestnothing@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    JD Vance (or at least his staff) called the mayor of Springfield before they said anything about it. The mayor told them there was zero proof that it was happening at all, then Vance went ahead and said it was happening anyway.

    I would argue that the couch surfing/fucking was verified more than the immigrants eating pets story because no one officially said that it was false before it was spread.

  • The Giant Korean@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    Is this made up? Maybe. But if it makes the American media actually pay attention to the suffering of the American people, then that’s what you’ve gotta do.

    • beebarfbadger@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I’ll take full credit for any virtue signalling buzzwords like “addressing the suffering of the American people” and all the attention my dogwhistles get me. Any negative results like bomb threats and hate crimes do not exist. Also, they very much exist and are the Democrats’ fault, who are evil because they make up lies for attention.

  • trek32@lemmy.worldOP
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    3 months ago

    JD Vance said he was able to cure himself of couch chlamydia using a home remedy he invented that involved tree sap and some indian spices he found in his wife’s kitchen spice rack.

    When he was then spotted showing couch chlamydia symptoms, he claimed that he got reinfected a second time, but this time it was from Democrat secret agents that infected him for political persecution.

    • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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      3 months ago

      JD Vance is a good man. Every Christmas he goes down to the pound and gives couch chlamydia to one hungry cat and one hungry mouse.

  • kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    3 months ago

    Thats why his friends and family secretly call him JD Couch Fucker Vance, pass it along and insist on using that name every time hes mentioned

    • Wogi@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      I used to have a roommate that apparently had a habit of taking honey to the shower and fucking it. We found more than one jar of honey that he denied fucking, and others that lived with him reported the same.

      He would go on to sexually assault a friend of mine.

      Now I’m not saying JD Vance absolutely has sexually assaulted someone under the influence, but I am saying he looks and acts like a guy who would rape a hot dog bun after two shots of tequila.

  • SelfProgrammed@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    JD Vance puts out $5 in quarters when he visits a restaurant and each time he thinks the waitress fucks up, he removes $0.50. The remaining money is his tip at the end of the meal.

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    3 months ago

    I mean, this is a cute meme. But it does seem to illustrate why playing dirty scores points while playing “by the rules” is for chumps and suckers.

    Vance is a very effective sleaze. His smear of a migrant community in his home state has been devastatingly effective at stirring up a lynch mob. People are casually rejecting any semblance of truth, because “Black man ate my dog!” is this statement that resonates among his supporters and among the ambient racist fucks that are looking for someone to pander to them.

    Calling him a couch fucker appears to have a better track record at deflecting his racist critiques than trying to get to the “truth” of his bigoted remarks. It forces him back on the defensive and alienates him from those same racist fucks to which he’s looking to gin up turnout.