The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
5:30am - Wake up in the mornin’ feeling like P. Diddy 6:00am - Grab my glasses; I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this city 5:45am - Before I leave, brush my teeth, with a bottle of Jack ‘Cause when I leave for the night I ain’t comin’ back
And here’s mine:
- 6:30 am - wake up due to 4yo kicking or whatever
- 7 - clean up the kitchen a bit
- 7:30 - make breakfast and lunch for myself and kids
- 8:15 - drive kids to school (we decided on a charter school, so no bus service)
- 9:15 - get to work and refill my water bottle and whatnot
- 9:30-11 - morning meetings
- 11-12 - pretend like I’m working/check email/etc
- 12-1 - lunch
- 1-3 - work on my tasks for the day
- 3-5 - fix something that went wrong, because something always goes wrong just before I go home
- 5-6 - drive home (would take 30 min w/o traffic, but here we are)
- 6-7 - make dinner or clean up house
- 7-9 - get kids ready for bed (takes forever because they’re really looking for time w/ me)
- 9-10 - do adult stuff, like paying bills or shopping for birthdays/christmas stuff; maybe take a walk w/ SO; if the stars align, read a book or play video games
So yeah, that’s me. I get about as much done in those 2 hours of actual work as many of my coworkers get, so I think I’m doing alright.
Here’s an alternative schedule when I WFH:
- 6:30-8:45 - same as above, just w/o commute
- 10-12 - do work (we have fewer meetings on WFH days
- 12-1 - get some exercise in my garage (kids are at school)
- 1-3 - do more work while eating lunch
- 3-5 - play video games or something in my home office (I’ve already done 2x the work I normally do)
- 5-6 - make dinner or clean up house
- 6-8 - hang out with family
- 8-8:30 - get kids ready for bed (much easier since I can work the bedtime routine in the “hang out” part)
- 8:30-10 - same as above, but I have an extra 30 min (hooray!!)
So yeah, most of what the OP posted cannot apply to me, but I get a similar amount of work done.
That’s a psychopath’s handwriting.
Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.
“Work for 3 hours”
Sure, I actually agree, I get more done in 3 hours than my coworkers do in a day. But it’s not like I’m going to get to go home after that. I’ll just get to sit and do nothing for the rest of the day looking busy.
2pm: have a meeting of max 1 hour.
3pm: end of work day, start prepping diner.
7pm: done with diner, wash the twenty pans and nine oven trays.
7:30pm: more weightlifting, more testosterone = more better.
9pm: time for bed, a good night rest starts early!Social life is a waste of time 99% of the time, just take those antidepressants more often.
Ah right, a walk around nature! Because I have so much nature around me!
(Also, I’d prefer to get meetings and impromptu requests from colleagues in the morning, because I tend to get way in the zone around 14h-15h, with the drawback that I often run way in excess of 17h when I’m supposed to leave so I’m home by ~1815.)
Sounds horrible. Here’s mine:
- Stand up when woken up and feeling like it.
- look into my wife’s cute face.
- we make food, watch star trek, drink tea
- decide how and where we’re gonna spend the day. Gaming? Binging? Pool? Museum? Zoo? Just driving around with no goal? Shopping-tour? Visit some city? Some voluntary work to help those less fortunate? Doing absolutely nothing?
- end the day in peace whenever we feel like it.
Oh yes. No kids, no pets.
Here’s mine:
- Wake up when the neighbour above me slams their door
- Glance over at my phone and realize I have an hour still
- Bask in that extra hour sleep without actually sleeping
- Groggily get up, shower
- Walk to the station, buy a coffee
- And wait for the next autopilot routine to kick in
I’m so sorry man. Capitalism just sucks for the vast majority. It’s not my system-of-choice, even if i highly profit of it. It’s humanity’s bane and ultimate end.
Eh, it’d be the same routine under socialism but the end goals would be different.
I’d hope for it to be even more fair. Housing for all, healthcare for all, public transport… All the shit that shouldn’t be a for-profit but is. Unless you’re a landlording insurance-ceo that owns trains. Then the current system just rocks.
That’s the ideal, but I imagine there’d be a great deal of equity required to get the ball rolling, and people wouldn’t immediately change households to build a new utopia, but would likely have to go through the arduous process of either doing the work, or setting up the committees to do the work.
The end goal would be different, but I imagine it would be the same daily slog, just with perhaps slightly better hours, and maybe less enthusiasm for doing it since the threat of homelessness and starvation would no longer dangle above our heads.
A small minority would bounce out of bed every morning with a burning passion to complete the mission, but I think that same minority tend to be the ones who happily work dog hours and dog wages in feel-good startups
Okay. This daily-slog shouldn’t really be a thing. Ideally. People shouldn’t just do shit just to do shit. But to do shir because it’d need to be done and they kinda are fine with it. Not everyone’s fine with collecting garbage like not everyone’s fine to do rocket science. To fuel the stereotyoes. But some are fine doing one or the other. Or anything in between. It should be catered to that. Ok, now my shit sounds like utopia…
Oh yes. No kids, no pets.
No job?
Or is this just a weekend routine?
Yes. No job. Retired somewhere mid-20s. With 2 occasional let’s-try-something-new-job for some months since then. That was nearly 3 decades ago. So, weekend only matters because, where we live, life slowly withers saturdays and is dead as a doornail on Sundays 😁
I read that as you retired in your mid-20s, not that you retired in 2020.
OP could be retired.
Did they draw hyperlinks in their notebook?
I like organization… but I hate routines.
Most people don’t get a chance to do those things. Wake up, commute while sending off kids, work dreadful shit, collect kids, shop, make dinner, relC 15, minutes, pass out, repeat.
Except. bank holiday comes 6 times a year. Cheers.
Well, if one has such a miserable worker-bee-life, why the heck would one want to make it even worse with kids? And what future would that one give his/her kids? The same bright one? We all make our own beds, don’t we?
Believe it or not, kids bring joy to an otherwise bland life. As for the kids’ future, you can do a lot with a little, just spending what little time you have at the end of the day w/ your kids can help them surpass where you were able to get to.
Source: all of my siblings have better jobs than my parents did, and that’s because they prioritized education and spending time w/ us.
Bland life without kids? Absolutely not. I do everything i love with the person i love the whole day. We travel a lot, whenever we desire to. Sometimes just a spontaneous trip to who-the-fuck-cares for however long we want. Do that with kids. No thanks. We don’t even want the responsibility of a pet. Just costs time and money we rather spend on ourselves. Having to wrap my life all around one single tiny human…ohgod no. THAT i would call a bland life. Maybe even while working some job? I wouldn’t find the time for that now, let alone when i would be forced to work too.
Glad it turned out well for you, but in tendency kids of poorer upbringing remain poor or at least have it way harder. But that’s not the point. It was just about my lack of willingness to be slave to a tiny human for at least 18yrs of MY life.
PS: don’t get me wrong. If you have to have a child for whatever reason, the love and care surely outweighs its monetary safety. Though, depending on where one lives, said lacking monetary safety can become a sad regret in a worst case. I, totally personally, wouldn’t gamble on that.
Bland life without kids?
I didn’t say not having kids makes life bland, I said if your life is bland, having kids can help. It can also make it worse, so you need to figure out for yourself if having kids would bring fulfillment.
Oh. Oops. But i dunno. Is “my life is bland, let’s have a kid to maybe rock it up” really a good reason to procreate? Or more in the sense like “at least i would have a purpose in life”?
I didn’t say that. Read my second sentence again.
So. I did get it right. You didn’t make a point at all,except people should - or shouldn’t have a kid based on what they want. Which already is the way it is.
Yes, I’d like to see this list with four home school kids lol
It’s like going to battle, and in war, the enemy also makes plans!
And to quote Mike, everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.
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A lot of these LinkedIn lunatic posts are absurd. This one seems totally reasonable, healthy, and leaves plenty of time for hobbies and family/friends.
Minus the meeting time restriction. Dunno how you manage that unless you’re the owner of the company.
My biggest criticism is that I’m not really the one who sets my meeting schedule, even when I’m the one who sends the invite. Unless your entire company has a “no meetings until 2pm” policy this isn’t really doable. Especially if you work with people in multiple time zones.
I only got to institute this when I started working for myself. It took me a year or two to realise. For all clients or all agencies I sub for I have a strict no meetings before 930am rule. I haven’t told anyone why - my calendar is just blocked out so each probably individually thinks I have some recurring appointment with another client. Nup. I’m in bed drinking my coffee. I’m a shit sleeper, if I manage at all. I spent decades working to the early birds’ schedule. Fuck that.
But it is a privilege and very few can achieve that working in a company. It’s gross to suggest to people they can just do it. I know my situation is niche. To suggest otherwise is arrogant and ignorant.
I keep reading work as worm.
I didn’t zoom in: 2 Go for a wank
I support this.
“cues me into worm mode”
3 hours of deep worm.
This isn’t terrible advice, but it’s presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.
Yeah focused work is great and pomodoro timers can help you achieve it by breaking out down into smaller chunks. But this image was just grating to read, and it seemed to imply only working 3 hours per day.
By 10am? You reach 10am by step 4.
Also number 7 contradicts 4. Phone calls can be meetings. But what do I know.
Those are X in boxes next to those in step four. I believe they’re saying “no phone calls, no emails and no dealing with notifications”.
Must be for a job in trades or field work. Phone calls, emails, and notifications are essential for office work.
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you’re up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be ‘won’ by this point, and you still haven’t gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
I dunno, I feel like I’ve won on any day I don’t have to lift heavy things.
Keeping it noodley. ✊
oh I’ll definitely be mourning if I were to wake up at 5
Mourning my will to live
If I’m waking up at 5:30am and not drinking caffeine for 90 minutes, I’m definitely mourning.
I like how planning the morning the night before happens in the morning. That’s about how much I procrastinate, too.
Wake up at 5:30 then go for a walk. It is recommended to take a 30 min to 1 hour walk in the morning. Also including prep time so I’d say about 15 minutes. So let’s say we’re at 6:45 now. Wait 90 minutes so now we’re at 9:45. Now making americanos at home is also time consuming if it isn’t pre prepped or if you don’t have a full espresso setup in your home, it could take 30 or 45 minutes and you’d have take it stronger to compensate for the ice melting in the hot cup. So now we’re at 10:30. 3 hours of work, 1:30. Lift weights; you can get that done in 30 minutes, but you also have to factor in cleaning yourself up or else you’re just going to baste in your own sweat all day until you shower. So I’d give that another 30 minutes. It is now 2:00, you’re late for your meetings which removes your “superpower” to say no, you didn’t factor in any time to eat lunch, your blood sugar is probably bottoming out because you had a very caffeine rich coffee drink and lifted weights without nutrients, and you’re going to feel like garbage until you get food in you.
Horrible plan
In fairness he says 90 minutes after waking, not 90 minutes after the walk. If you get home from the walk by 6:30 that’s 30 minutes to make it, or potentially buy it if you have one nearby to get on the way home/quickly drive to.
Now yes that’s already 10am, but considering he mentions 2pm in the right column, you could make the argument the left column is the “until 10am” part, and the right is “after 10am” part, though I am giving large amounts of benefit of the doubt at this point.
Haha, that’s quite the reality check. God I hate those grifters…
How is it taking you up to 45 minutes to make a cup of coffee? I can make a hot cup in ten, and most of that is spent waiting.
Because americano has coffee and espresso. And if you’re going to make it right, you’d need a coffee maker and an espresso machine. Both beans are usually more concentrated the fresher they are so grinding your own beans right before you make then drink is going to have a better flavor
An Americano does not contain coffee. It is just espresso and hot water.
Sunrise here, tomorrow, is around 7:30. When I take my morning walk, presumably just after I wake up at 5:30 because the walk is supposed to “get my brain ready to work” and I’m supposed to put several hours of work in during the morning, how do I “get sunlight in my eyes”?
Have a villa in each hemisphere.
Turn your Winter into Summer taps forehead
