The perfect way to mourn your mundane life.
5:30am - Wake up in the mornin’ feeling like P. Diddy 6:00am - Grab my glasses; I’m out the door, I’m gonna hit this city 5:45am - Before I leave, brush my teeth, with a bottle of Jack ‘Cause when I leave for the night I ain’t comin’ back
And here’s mine:
- 6:30 am - wake up due to 4yo kicking or whatever
- 7 - clean up the kitchen a bit
- 7:30 - make breakfast and lunch for myself and kids
- 8:15 - drive kids to school (we decided on a charter school, so no bus service)
- 9:15 - get to work and refill my water bottle and whatnot
- 9:30-11 - morning meetings
- 11-12 - pretend like I’m working/check email/etc
- 12-1 - lunch
- 1-3 - work on my tasks for the day
- 3-5 - fix something that went wrong, because something always goes wrong just before I go home
- 5-6 - drive home (would take 30 min w/o traffic, but here we are)
- 6-7 - make dinner or clean up house
- 7-9 - get kids ready for bed (takes forever because they’re really looking for time w/ me)
- 9-10 - do adult stuff, like paying bills or shopping for birthdays/christmas stuff; maybe take a walk w/ SO; if the stars align, read a book or play video games
So yeah, that’s me. I get about as much done in those 2 hours of actual work as many of my coworkers get, so I think I’m doing alright.
Here’s an alternative schedule when I WFH:
- 6:30-8:45 - same as above, just w/o commute
- 10-12 - do work (we have fewer meetings on WFH days
- 12-1 - get some exercise in my garage (kids are at school)
- 1-3 - do more work while eating lunch
- 3-5 - play video games or something in my home office (I’ve already done 2x the work I normally do)
- 5-6 - make dinner or clean up house
- 6-8 - hang out with family
- 8-8:30 - get kids ready for bed (much easier since I can work the bedtime routine in the “hang out” part)
- 8:30-10 - same as above, but I have an extra 30 min (hooray!!)
So yeah, most of what the OP posted cannot apply to me, but I get a similar amount of work done.
That’s a psychopath’s handwriting.
Most of these make sense but its from a very privileged perspective.
“Work for 3 hours”
Sure, I actually agree, I get more done in 3 hours than my coworkers do in a day. But it’s not like I’m going to get to go home after that. I’ll just get to sit and do nothing for the rest of the day looking busy.
2pm: have a meeting of max 1 hour.
3pm: end of work day, start prepping diner.
7pm: done with diner, wash the twenty pans and nine oven trays.
7:30pm: more weightlifting, more testosterone = more better.
9pm: time for bed, a good night rest starts early!Social life is a waste of time 99% of the time, just take those antidepressants more often.
Ah right, a walk around nature! Because I have so much nature around me!
(Also, I’d prefer to get meetings and impromptu requests from colleagues in the morning, because I tend to get way in the zone around 14h-15h, with the drawback that I often run way in excess of 17h when I’m supposed to leave so I’m home by ~1815.)
Sounds horrible. Here’s mine:
- Stand up when woken up and feeling like it.
- look into my wife’s cute face.
- we make food, watch star trek, drink tea
- decide how and where we’re gonna spend the day. Gaming? Binging? Pool? Museum? Zoo? Just driving around with no goal? Shopping-tour? Visit some city? Some voluntary work to help those less fortunate? Doing absolutely nothing?
- end the day in peace whenever we feel like it.
Oh yes. No kids, no pets.
Here’s mine:
- Wake up when the neighbour above me slams their door
- Glance over at my phone and realize I have an hour still
- Bask in that extra hour sleep without actually sleeping
- Groggily get up, shower
- Walk to the station, buy a coffee
- And wait for the next autopilot routine to kick in
I’m so sorry man. Capitalism just sucks for the vast majority. It’s not my system-of-choice, even if i highly profit of it. It’s humanity’s bane and ultimate end.
Eh, it’d be the same routine under socialism but the end goals would be different.
I’d hope for it to be even more fair. Housing for all, healthcare for all, public transport… All the shit that shouldn’t be a for-profit but is. Unless you’re a landlording insurance-ceo that owns trains. Then the current system just rocks.
That’s the ideal, but I imagine there’d be a great deal of equity required to get the ball rolling, and people wouldn’t immediately change households to build a new utopia, but would likely have to go through the arduous process of either doing the work, or setting up the committees to do the work.
The end goal would be different, but I imagine it would be the same daily slog, just with perhaps slightly better hours, and maybe less enthusiasm for doing it since the threat of homelessness and starvation would no longer dangle above our heads.
A small minority would bounce out of bed every morning with a burning passion to complete the mission, but I think that same minority tend to be the ones who happily work dog hours and dog wages in feel-good startups
Okay. This daily-slog shouldn’t really be a thing. Ideally. People shouldn’t just do shit just to do shit. But to do shir because it’d need to be done and they kinda are fine with it. Not everyone’s fine with collecting garbage like not everyone’s fine to do rocket science. To fuel the stereotyoes. But some are fine doing one or the other. Or anything in between. It should be catered to that. Ok, now my shit sounds like utopia…
Oh yes. No kids, no pets.
No job?
Or is this just a weekend routine?
Yes. No job. Retired somewhere mid-20s. With 2 occasional let’s-try-something-new-job for some months since then. That was nearly 3 decades ago. So, weekend only matters because, where we live, life slowly withers saturdays and is dead as a doornail on Sundays 😁
I read that as you retired in your mid-20s, not that you retired in 2020.
OP could be retired.
Did they draw hyperlinks in their notebook?
“No meetings before 2pm”, “saying no is a superpower” yeah brill mate I’ll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won’t get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he’s funnier and doesn’t tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I’ve just gotten to sleep…
The thing that’s so irritating to me isn’t the tone, isn’t the weird preaching, isn’t the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
mourning
This is a sense of grief or loss, usually over the deceased.
emails
This is a conjugated verb. Like ‘traffic’, the noun should NEVER get an S; no matter how much Felicia says, for the same reason ‘cattles’ is wrong.
Learn to spell when you’re going to ink it in. Respect the medium and its lack of an ‘undo’ feature.
this is the second time ive seen you claim that emails is incorrect and youre interesting for that
“I sent Linda 4 separate emails about this.”
This is a conjugated verb. Like ‘traffic’, the noun should NEVER get an S; no matter how much Felicia says, for the same reason ‘cattles’ is wrong.
If most people use it that way it is the standard. There is no wrong or right in language. Only an aggreed upon standard in a specific group. When studying english linguistics that was one of the very early lessons. And if you like prescriptivism: I had a look at what Merriam Webster had to say and they have an example for emails as a plural.
The only thought I’m connecting with at 5:30 in the fucking morning is “I’m so tired, I want to go back to sleep”.
I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.
As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.
What kind of work do you do?
Quality and training manager at a company that values neither.
There is no way that 99% of meetings are a waste of time. Like, many 70%, tops.
Depends on the organization.
It’s simply wrong, made up. No need to defend it, there are no specifications that it only applies to work group X in company Y.
There’s also no way I can avoid meetings before 2pm, timezones exist and sometimes things are on fire. If I leave someone hanging because I care only about my own day, then I’m the asshole.
Hey, bud. I can’t leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Saying NO is a superpower!
“Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you’d finish that report before noon?”
NO
“Uh, OK? Guess I’ll see you at the meeting with our main customer then.”
NO
See how easy that is?
Mate, it’s impossible to work with you, we’ll have to make you redundant, I’m sorry.
NO
while curling 50 lb. dumbbells
Reminds me of that one scene in the first episode of Coupling where Jane refuses to be dumped.
“fuck, he’s got us. We’ll have to regroup and think of another tactic.”
Its really easy until everyone complains I’m saying no, my review scores drop, and I get fired. Idk what kind of heaven exists out there where you can actually say no without the rest of the office dogpiling you like rapid corporate zombies but its not the place I work at. I could say no once, that person hold a vendetta, and give me a 1/10 on my review, costing me a raise. Its absolutely a fucking Klingon culture up in here.
It sounds like your coworkers lack honor! Perhaps it is time for them to experience Bij…
Saying no is a superpower, just not in the way the author of the original post intended. As comments like yours highlight, saying no to nonsense work is out of reach for the vast majority of people who would most benefit from it (i.e. workers who are bothered by managers). It sounds like your workplace is especially gruelling in that respect.
Its a slog for no reason, it doesnt have to be like this at all. The “leaders” create and actively maintain this environment. I have given whole presentations on how to fix it. They want it to remain a brutal revolving door.
How’s your shift going? Looks like a pretty busy morning! Hey could you please make sure you catch the markdown on the bread? The bakery counter didn’t cover up the old barcode properly.
NO
This schedule is completely unrealistic even with privilege
No meetings until 2pm? Doesn’t matter what industry you’re in, guarantee you interact with industries that work 8-4 and will not bend over backwards to schedule you at the end of their day. Like does this person just not go to the doctor? Or deal with banking issues?
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, “deep work,” and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
