Edit: Please know that I am reading and appreciating every one of your responses. Even if I do not reply to you, I appreciate your time and want the best for you all. Thank you, guys.

I’ve always been the “crazy one” in any given scenario. I have been this way my whole life. Even as a child I was crazy. I would get upset and cry loudly for hours but my siblings would not. I caused problems at home for my family, especially for my mom who didn’t know what to do with me. I did this as an older child, not normal toddler tantrum age. I was old enough to “know better”. I did it my whole childhood.

For the most part in life, I have been able to be a productive member of society. The issues I would cause were limited to my home life and I mostly kept to myself. I sometimes cause issues by being a crazy person to my online friends, but at least that never spilled over into the “real world”.

But now in my 30s I am causing such issues at work. I asked for some psych meds to be prescribed to me in March and have been taking them ever since. Doesn’t seem to do anything.

I seem to get more frequent and strong negative emotions than the general population. I have difficulty controlling these, especially when I feel like someone is being mean or unfair to me or others. I think I am genetically predisposed to be this way, as my dad was a crazy person when I was growing up (but he has always been nice to me…he was only abusive to my mom). He had “episodes” too the same way I do, except his were malicious to others in nature. My older brother also has claimed to have bipolar disorder which supposedly has a genetic component.

I have spoken to mental health professionals and have been assessed for various things. I do not have bipolar disorder, autism, or OCD per mental health professionals. I tried to bring up keywords like “emotional dysregulation” to them. There seems to be no good explanation for why I am insane. I have wondered if maybe I have borderline personality disorder but have not inquired to be assessed for that one. I do not seem to exhibit the “risk taking” behaviors that are core to borderline personality disorder though.

I get frustrated that I am always the only one who is crazy and no one else is like me.

But I know there are other crazy people out there. Please, tell me your stories. How do you deal with life? How do you deal with always being different than others and feeling negative things more strongly? How do you handle things? How do you handle being and feeling alone in the way that you are? How do you handle the emotional frustration?

If this is inappropriate for here, I apologize. I just want to hear how others have managed to handle life despite this isolating “disability”. I want to hear your stories. I want to gain wisdom from all of you. Thank you.

  • Dasus@lemmy.world
    61·
    1 day ago

    How have you been able to deal with this?

    To make a long story short I think mine was caused by some sort of very small food insensitivity, which led to a constant aching in the guts, an inflamed bowel and cognitive issues. All that led to bad sleep and then the doctors just diagnose it as a mental disorder because whatever the condition, it’s only subclinical, meaning while there are symptoms, there aren’t enough symptoms for any sort of proper diagnosis.

    But yeah Tldr I tried an exclusion diet, basically only rice, potatoes, fish and chicken. And no soysauce. Can use sauces but look at the ingredients. Mayos are pretty simple not many ingredients. At one point I avoided all wheat derivatives (and that means glucose syrup as well, which is in everything and in Europe is made from wheat, like all delimeats have it and all candy and pretty much everything), all dairy and dairy derivatives, all allium containing plants and derivatives (onions and garlic etc).

    Felt a massively difference in weeks, continued improving for months even when I started adding things back. I’m pretty sure it’s a gluten insensitivity, and rn, I’m doing the best medical thing I’ve ever had to endure, (and I’ve had to endure a lot of weird procedures); gluten challenge. As in I have to eat gluten every day for weeks. I’m on like week 3 and while I’m pissing from my ass basically, these burgers are just so much better than gluten free ones.

    But yeah anyway, you’re probably thinking “my emotional problems can’t be just because of a food insensitivity”, but they totally can be (I’m not saying it is, but that it is an actually documented medical possibility):

    A 31-year-old Caucasian woman with a history of severe gluten sensitivity, Hashimoto’s disease, mosaic turner’s syndrome, and presumed schizo-affective disorder, bipolar type with multiple inpatient psychiatric involuntary admissions presented to the ED on petition for aggressive behavior by law enforcement. The patient had a week-long break-down at her parents’ home, where she also resides. She reportedly broke several objects and threatened to slit her mother’s throat. On the physical exam, she was malodorous, disheveled, and had long extremely matted hair. Psychiatric evaluation was notable for rambling speech, dysphoric mood, agitation, and irritability. Thought content was disorganized and consisted of grandiose and paranoid persecutory delusions. She was emergently given Haldol for worsening agitation, as she became physically threatening.

    https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10593161/

    And the thing is, people can be sensitive to gluten and not know it. Sounds like such Karen bullshit, but it’s true. They tested the families of celiacs and non-celiac gluten sensitivity, and while some people reported no symptoms to begin with, they did report improvement on a gluten-free diet. Meaning they basically had symptoms, but had had them all their lives and weren’t aware they were symptoms.

    A few years ago I would’ve laughed at people preaching about gluten free, I thought it’s just a healthfad. I do not believe in that anymore. A huge percentage of subclinical celiacs are undiagnosed.

    • blargh513@sh.itjust.works
      4·
      1 day ago

      I think this is far more important than people realize. Your gut is your 2nd brain.
      This was posted a few days ago: https://undark.org/2025/06/24/mental-illness-ketogenic-diet/

      Short version is that diet controls are able to provide very large improvements for schizophrenia. That is huge.

      Also, being able to regulate emotions is a big deal, but most people have no idea how to even begin. Mr Rogers talked about it a lot. He was wise. I found a LOT of insight from the book Why Buddhism Is True by Robert Wright. It talks about the evolutionary aspects of emotions as well as some cognitive theory like modular theory of mind: https://exploringkodawari.blog/modular-theory-of-mind/

      There is a lot that most adults just do not know about how they think and feel. They are not at all aware of their emotional states and the cause and effect relationship between external inputs and the emotions that result. To me, this sort of information should be taught to children and all the way through their schooling. I think we would have a lot fewer people who are a tangled up mess as adults.

      I have found that my own life has improved greatly by seeking answers to these questions. You’re never really in control of your emotions, but once you are aware of them, they won’t control you anymore.

    • dingus@lemmy.worldOPEnglish
      1·
      23 hours ago

      I would consider myself to be a lifelong skeptic. But I have delved into the interesting research in connections between things like Celiac disease and mental disorders, as you’ve stated. Honestly, I wish that there was one simpler test to get diagnosed with Celiac disease. Yeah, there are some tests that we do have, but they aren’t necessarily the best or conclusive. Wishing the best for you.

      • Dasus@lemmy.world
        2·
        23 hours ago

        Honestly, I wish that there was one simpler test to get diagnosed with Celiac disease.

        Actually, in that regard, I just read a post like a week or two ago on here. Holdup I’ll dig it up from somewhere. Oh yeah here it is: https://lemmy.world/post/31165431 (19 days ago, had to browse back my comments couldn’t find with search for some reason, weird.)

        The link that’s in the post https://www.abc.net.au/news/2025-06-10/new-coeliac-disease-blood-test-gluten-free-diet/105393366

        In short:

        Australian researchers say a simple blood test could “revolutionise” the diagnosis of a common autoimmune disease.

        A study has found the test is highly accurate in diagnosing coeliac disease, without patients having to eat gluten beforehand. What’s next?

        Research is expanding across diverse populations, and there is hope the new test will be available within two years.

        Fucking brilliant.

        The current blood tests, the doctors here don’t even know about how they work. One put me in a blood test, but when I was off-gluten. I asked her do I need to be on gluten for the test to work, she said “no”. Then after the test messaged me “oh yeah as you suspected you need to be on gluten”, but didn’t write her mistake down anywhere, so now I have just a negative on file for the blood test, despite me telling the doctors it was a false negative because it couldn’t possibly have worked since I was avoiding gluten when tested. Now the current doctor said “a week on gluten is more than sufficient” but when I googled it all sources say 6-12 weeks. Even Finnish ones. So I don’t know how they can so confidently be wrong. These cunts are younger than me and getting paid vast amounts of money for being that fucking stupid. It annoys me to no end.

        Yeah there are tests but they’re kinda inaccurate. The best is a biopsy from your small intestine. I had that done to me once… but, I doubt the veracity of the results. Because you’re supposed to not eat before going to have your stomach and bowels scoped, obviously. Worst medical procedure ever, btw, they put a sort of gag with a hole in your mouth you can bite down on but they can still get through with the endoscope, and then you either swallow or vomit. Either or, because if you don’t, you’re breathing and your larynx is blocking your oesophagus, so you either swallow or vomit. And since you’re being poked in your throat with a long-ass endoscope covered in non-flavoured medical lube, it’s gonna be the latter. So it’s like 10-15 minutes of gagging straight for them to get to your small intestine and then take a biopsy. Oh right, I was trying to explain why I don’t trust the results; I was in the army when I had this procedure, and like all armies, there’s fuckups, and whilst I got the instructions on when to go to the doctor, I hadn’t had the instructions to not eat, so I had a stomach and bowels full of porridge when they took the biopsy.

        So it might be it caused a false negative and the doctor’s just assumed afterwards. But it could also be I have non-celiac gluten sensitivity, which isn’t the same as celiacs and doesn’t show up as the same kind of damage on the villi of the small intestine.

        But yeah, now having my personal experiences, and reading the studies which pop up when you google “gluten psychosis”, I’m pretty convinced it affecting people is very much real.