Government so small it can fit in your bedroom!
How were they enforcing this?
They’ll know I’m breaking the law, because I’ll be flying my custom gadsen flag with 7 dildoes on it that reads “Come and count them”
That just lets people know you have dildos to steal
It’s just a tack on when they do search warrants… oh we did not find any drugs but we found 7 dildos… Off to prison!
That’s not a dildo, it’s a stirring stick.
*trying to buy salad ingredients for the family cookout*
The cashier: sorry state prevents us from selling more than 5 cucumbers at a time.
Is there a shortage of dildos in Texas that they need such laws to stop hoarding?
There is decidedly not a shortage of dildos in Texas.
Have you seen their politicians?
those are just plain ol’ dicks
Look, I have SIX perfectly fine dildos, all in their individual velvet pouches. My grandma even gives me a knowing wink when she sees them on my nightstand (she’s very with-it, my grandma). But the minute I walk into Walmart and snag NUMBER SEVEN - BAM! 💥 The world implodes. Little Timmy starts twerking in the cereal aisle, the self-checkout beeps incessantly with unholy vibrations, and a rogue bag of gummy worms spontaneously transforms into a life-size silicone replica of the Lone Star State… it’s CHAOS, I tell ya! This clearly-reasonable six-dildo limit is PROTECTING our precious Texas innocence. Seven just unleashes the primal urges, and nobody wants that, especially not while picking out a new can of Copenhagen. 🤠
#SixIsTheMagicNumber #TexasStrong #ProtectTheInnocence (and the Gummy Worms)
First, they came for the dildos, and I did nothing.
They came for the dildos…… and BOY did they came!!!
Because I was not a dildo
I’m guessing they are not limiting the number of guns you can own though.
Ever bring a dildo to a gun fight?
As the 2015 New Zealand horror classic Deathgasm demonstrated, when you’re fresh out of guns, dildos are quite effective bludgeoning weapons against demon-possessed zombies.
No, but there was the time someone brought a dildo wielding drone to a campaign event and attacked the Bernallio county Sheriff with a “dongcopter.”
LOL, how had I never heard of this before?
Source?
Sauce!
This dude knows where the purple dildo is in GTA Vice City.
Exactly!
yea that’d be a rookie mistake
Snorted and almost choked on my coffee when I scrolled past this.
The worst part about this is that I’d rather Republicans waste time with pointless legislation such as this rather than something damaging that they could actually enforce.
Oh don’t worry. They’ll get around to doing that as well.
The great Republican war on orgasms have begun.
They’ve been stopping orgasms from happening for a long time.
Begun? Texas has always had a war on dildos.
Yet, they keep voting for one as governor. 🤔
The new top post in this community. I hope everyone is proud of themselves. I know I am.
I feel honored and touched.
But enough about your personal life…
Is there a limit on total footage? Does a double ended dildo count as two? Is a Christmas tree of dicks ok since it’s more than 6, but is Christian?
Christmas tree dildos you say?
Need to go candelabra style with them all attached at the base.
They just need to add a way to mount it to a gun and then its not a dildo, its a gun accessory.
Well that’s one way to finally make Republicans upset about school shootings… maybe
Sounds like an interesting bump stock
Hump stock
Like a swiss-army knife. (the AI refuses to render this.)
That’s why we will always need human artists
You rang?
Edit: … I think I should mark this nsfw. Um. No idea how though.
Magnificent
The instance doesn’t allow NSFW content, so I don’t think you get the option.
Luckily, this falls under a satire or parody exemption (probably), so I’m allowing it.
I hadn’t even considered that it might not be allowed at all, my mistake. Thank you for indulging me :)
This is beautiful
thank you, i try.
We need a global network of connected dildos. I propose to call it „Interdildo“
Imagine making some sort of open peer to peer sex toy network. Where you are randomly paired up with another person and you control their dildo and they control yours. But no other communication is possible. That would be a fun experiment.
Does a straw have two holes or one hole?
Straws have one hole.
Is your mouth and anus one hole?
Yes, and don’t forget to give your granny a kiss next time you visit.
Yes
I dunno, are the Christmas tree dicks circumcised?
I assume a menorah of dildos is out.
Yay! More small government and freedom!
Small government (for businesses) and freedom (to be a certain type of Christian)
Once again, SO glad to have left that shithole state after 42 years there.
Small enough to fit in your underwear drawer!
Hypocrites! They do this tomfoolery but make classrooms hang up the approved lord and savior:
As long as there’s no more than 6 per student
But Jesus had 12 disciples.
sharing is caring
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
6 double-ended dildos are legal.
I’d like to see the legal statute that specifies that multi ended dildos are considered one dildo and that the other ends of said dildo do not count against the legally allowed number of dildos that a resident can own.
What if one broke in half, taking you over the limit?
That would be quite climactic.
New Exorcist reboot just dropped.
The Sexorcist
… Honestly, I bet that exists.
The real question is do I want to Google it or not…
This one’s a bit more tame: https://www.discogs.com/release/4322377-White-Zombie-La-Sexorcisto-Devil-Music-Vol-1
The passion of the dildo
“…the Spirit of God came upon him…”
Why are so many people using them in Walmart?
People like to sample the produce as they shop, granted it’s usually a bag of crisps or a handful of grapes but it’s the same… ballpark.
Long queues, nothing else to do……
I usually munch on a crisp refreshing onion while shopping.
Makes sense to me.
Neo-puritanism needs to die. I’m getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control. We’re done with this shit.
At least none of these people should be violent. They can have their views. But law is always violent. So it has no business being an extension of anyone’s sexual views. If you violently impose your sexual perspective on others you are as good as a rapist in my book.
So I know what you mean and I agree, but there are plenty of sexual things that we would want outlawed because of our sexual perspective. Things like rape, sexual assault, pedophilia, etc etc.
The difference between our sexual perspectives and theirs is that we draw the line at harm or lack of consent, they draw the line at disgust.
I’m getting excited because I think humanity is just generally getting fed up with control.
Only 33% of the US voting population actually voted against Trump who ran on a platform of control. You might be putting too much faith in the general population.
This has very strong “If I can’t make my wife come, nobody will
cumcome!” vibes.I think it’s got religious overtones. One per day except the sabbath, when you have to leave your holes free for God to enter. Like Mary did.
Didn’t cheat on her husband at all
